The greatest toothbrush in the history of civilization

For months, Tommy has been touting the benefits of his Sonicare toothbrush. I blew it off. It's a toothbrush. How good could it be? Well, I kept hearing about how great the damn thing is. So I broke down this week and bought one. I actually paid eighty bucks for a toothbrush. I'm pretty sure that's more than my lifetime manual-toothbrush budget to date. Holy crap. This toothbrush freakin' rules. (Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sentence sounds.) Turn it on, and little microscopic sonic dwarves vibrate the bristles a million times a second, or something. It runs for two minutes and beeps every 30 seconds to let you know it's time to switch dental quadrants. Pretty clever. And so I'm proud to award the coveted Matthew F. Bramanti Seal of Approval to the Sonicare sonic toothbrush. Use anything else, and you might as well be brushing your teeth with a dog turd on a stick.