MMS Friends

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hasta la vista, Blogger

Mattsapundit now has a new home: The new blog has all sorts of changes. Obviously, my own domain, hosted by the good people at BlueHost. The new blog is also running WordPress, which means I can have niceties like trackback, categories, Technorati tags, multiple themes and all sorts of other goodies. Check it out.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


I had a dream last night that I was run over by a car driven by Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) Any insights on what the hell that means would be appreciated.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

By order of the prophet, we ban that boogie sound

Ladies and gentlemen, the image of Mohammed: These drawings have set off flag-burning riots, attacks on diplomatic posts, and gunfire around the world. So, it's time for an open letter to the Muslim world:
Dear Muslim World, We thought you'd appreciate the cartoons, since your society's literacy rate lags ours by about 35 percentage points. Should we use smoke signals to communicate? In conclusion, knock it off. Love, Civilization

Friday, February 03, 2006

Courtesy of the Religion of Peace

Free speech, Islamofascist-style:
The 80s called, and they want their jacket back.
So what was the "slander?" Daring to suggest that Islam is angry and violent. Gee, where would we get that idea? By the way, that photo wasn't taken on some rock-strewn street in Jalalabad. It was in London.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Planes, Trains and Plantains

This is without a doubt the most amusing English essay I have ever encountered.

Gmail and the paradox of organization

I've used Gmail since 7/9/05, when I bought an invite on eBay for a couple bucks. I'm just now downloading it all via Thunderbird, and the volume of information is absolutely staggering. In the 571 days I've had the free account, I've sent and received 17,037 emails, plus spam. As I was downloading it to Thunderbird, it occurred to me that Google products turn our traditional sense of organization on its head, and I'm not sure that's entirely a good thing. On one hand, you've got traditional organization of information. Think of a public library, with floors and floors of stacks and stacks. All the books are carefully organized by topic, author, you name it. The same mindset used to work for organizing email. You put stuff in folders of various types. Some of them group messages by sender, some by subject, etc. That's all out the window. Now you've got the benefits of organization -- rapid recall of information by referring to meaningful associations -- without the work. My inbox used to be an array of meticulously arranged folders, which required conscious effort to maintain. Now, it's as though I tore every page out of every book and tossed them all in a swimming pool. But when I'm looking for something, I can dive in and grab the right page, every time. In making traditional organization quaint -- if not completely obsolete -- I wonder how we're fundamentally altering our thinking about organization. Does the benefit of organization come from having access to a set of well-sorted items? Or does it come from the act of sorting the items, making hundreds of subconscious connections as you go along? I relate this to note-taking in college lectures. I always took pretty good notes, but I rarely went back and studied from them. I used the act of taking notes -- the act of organizing -- to straighten out my thoughts. I would bet that if you rigged someone up with a machine to monitor brain activity, you'd see different areas light up when they're searching on Google than you would when they're looking for something in a library, and I bet the Google-stimulated areas would be related to social dealings and relationships. Now if I can just get a grant...

Monday, January 30, 2006

'So please give me some tea...'

Lately I've been eating sushi a lot. I don't know what it is, but I can't get enough sushi. That's why I was so excited to find this video.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Pancakes and bizarre sexual deviancy

Late tonight I had a hankerin' for some tasty vittles, so I scooted on down to the local IHOP for a jalapeno omelet. The place was pretty empty: just me, a trucker, the waitress and the cook. Then the transsexual hooker walked in, with a guy who I really hope knew what he was doing. This wasn't one of those transsexuals where you look and say, "That might not be a woman." This was plain as day. You see, I was blessed with an eye for subtle details that escape the notice of ordinary people. For example:
  • She was about 6-foot-2.
  • She was built like a brick shitter.
  • She had a five o' clock shadow.
  • And an Adam's apple.
But I've got to hand it to Peggy Sue; what she lacked in skill she made up in determination. She had on a ridiculous miniskirt, high heels and a big red wig. She walked with an exaggerated feminine gait and spoke with an exaggerated feminine voice. The kicker was the exaggerated feminine pickiness. She and her, um, dining companion tried three different tables before settling on one. I guess they wanted the perfect view of a nearly vacant parking lot. Peggy Sue ordered a normal breakfast -- bacon, eggs and toast -- but with weird stipulations. Every item on a separate plate. One scrambled egg, one fried. One piece of wheat toast, one piece of white toast. In the 20 minutes I was there, Peggy got up to use the ladies room twice. She didn't shave either time.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Weight loss update: Normal at last

I weighed in today at 204 pounds, putting my Body Mass Index at 24.8, below the official threshold for "overweight." Now I'm normal. Kinda. Accordingly, the "Matt's Fat Ass Update" box in the sidebar has been amended.