Counterterrorism Blog: Anti-terror fatwa 'is bogus'

As David Benzion is discussing right now, Steve Emerson of the Counterterrorism Blog doubts the sincerity of the CAIR-endorsed "fatwa" which supposedly condemns terrorism. It turns out the "fatwa's" issuers have significant ties to global Islamic terrorism. Emerson writes:

This morning a group of American Islamic leaders held a press conference to announce a fatwa, or Islamic religious ruling, against “terrorism and extremism.” An organization called the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA) issued the fatwa, and the Council on American - Islamic Relations (CAIR) organized the press conference, stating that several major U.S. Muslim groups endorsed the fatwa. In fact, the fatwa is bogus. Nowhere does it condemn the Islamic extremism ideology that has spawned Islamic terrorism. It does not renounce nor even acknowledge the existence of an Islamic jihadist culture that has permeated mosques and young Muslims around the world. It does not renounce Jihad let alone admit that it has been used to justify Islamic terrorist acts. It does not condemn by name any Islamic group or leader. In short, it is a fake fatwa designed merely to deceive the American public into believing that these groups are moderate. In fact, officials of both organizations have been directly linked to and associated with Islamic terrorist groups and Islamic extremist organizations. One of them is an unindicted co-conspirator in a current terrorist case; another previous member was a financier to Al-Qaeda.

Read it all.

Tax protest firm sues HCAD, review board

HCAD is squirming:

Harris County property owners who protest their tax appraisals routinely lose because they face illegal obstacles, a lawsuit filed by a Houston firm that helps people challenge their appraisals contends. The lawsuit, filed Monday by O'Connor & Associates, alleges that Harris County's appraisal review board, which weighs protests, does not act independently of the Harris County Appraisal District, which appraises property. Jim Robinson, Harris County's chief appraiser, said the lawsuit is without merit and that review panels reduce appraised values in 70 percent to 80 percent of cases brought before them. The plaintiff argues that the appraisal district has inappropriate influence over the process of challenging appraisals, including controlling the scheduling of hearings, and fails to provide advance copies of its evidence, as required by law. "Some (appraisal review board) panels ignore the property owner's evidence of unequal appraisal even under circumstances where the district presents no evidence at all," the lawsuit says. O'Connor & Associates is seeking a temporary restraining order to prevent protest hearings until it ensures the protection of property owners' rights.

Full disclosure: While in college, I worked at O'Connor for three summers. (I don't work there now.) I represented property owners in about 2,500 hearings, and I can attest that the ARB's actions raise serious doubts about its independence. The law requires the appraisal district to make all its evidence available to the property owner 14 days before the hearing. Lately, the district has been introducing new evidence -- heretofore unseen by the property owner -- during the hearings, with no objections by the ARB. In most cases, ARB members are fair and reasonably impartial. But in many cases, the body effectively serves as an extension of the appraisal district, and that's just wrong. Pat O'Connor is a tenacious, smart guy who knows pretty much everything there is to know about tax appraisals. I get the feeling HCAD is running scared on this one.

Helen Thomas: 'I'll kill myself' if Cheney runs for prez

Helen Thomas is threatening suicide:

Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president. The newspaper HILL first reported the startling claim on Thursday.

"The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself," she told the HILL. "All we need is one more liar."

In a completely unrelated story, I sent some jack to the RNC with the specific request that it be applied to the veep's presidential campaign. I'm hoping she does the deed in some spectacular way. Any hack can chase a fistful of Valium with a fifth of vodka. Helen can do better. I'm hoping for something beginning with a hail of gunfire and ending with a fiery plunge into the icy Potomac.

911 hangs up on crime victim as perps escape

Whoops:

A man chasing down a pair of suspected robbers says his situation went from bad to worse when he dialed 911 for help. TJ Huntley says he watched as two men broke into his car and stole his wallet and laptop computer. It happened while he was jogging at Clear Brook City Park. His cell phone records show he called for help, not once but four times in five minutes. And, he was transferred to a Harris County line every time. "The last thing I expected was having to argue with dispatch on sending an officer out to catch two bad guys who just broke into my car," Huntley said. Not only that, he claims the county dispatcher hung up on him twice. Huntley chased the suspects as long as he could, for about 15 minutes. The two suspects got away.

This is better than any ad the NRA could dream up.

Chron screws pooch in NASA editorial

The Chronicle is ostensibly a newspaper, right? One would think its editors would follow the news. One would be horribly wrong:

The thunder and fire of what appeared to be a nearly flawless launch Tuesday from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida served notice that NASA's commitment to station Americans permanently in space and eventually to take them well beyond Earth's orbit is back at full throttle and soaring upward.

Appeared nearly flawless to whom? Every news outlet in the English-speaking world is discussing the damage to the orbiter in today's launch. A piece of foam insulation sloughed off the external fuel tank (fortunately missing the orbiter), and another piece of debris struck -- and damaged -- the Shuttle's critical heat shield. Here's a smattering of headlines. Drudge:

HOW SERIOUS?

AP:

NASA Probes Shuttle Debris After Launch

Reuters:

NASA sends shuttle to space, debris fears arise

Considering that seven astronauts were incinerated the last time this scenario happened, how the hell can someone consider the launch "nearly flawless?" Also, this paragraph struck me as a complete non sequitur:

Fittingly, the first woman to command a shuttle mission, 48-year-old retired Air Force Col. Eileen Collins, is directing her second flight aboard the retooled Discovery.

How is that fitting? Once we've established that a woman can command a shuttle -- and Col. Collins established that -- why make a gender issue out of it?

Teamsters, service workers quit AFL-CIO

Heh:

The following is a statement of James P. Hoffa on the Teamsters disaffiliation from the AFL-CIO: Good afternoon. This is an historic day. I join my brother Andy Stern and the great SEIU in a joint announcement. I am here today to announce that the General Executive Board of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters has unanimously voted to withdraw our membership from the AFL-CIO.

That muffled sound you hear is Jimmy Hoffa spinning in his grave end zone. For the record, the International Brotherhood of Bloggers, Local 713 -- of which I am the president, sergeant-at-arms and sole member -- wholeheartedly supports the dissolution of the AFL-CIO. Every now and then I'll see a bumper sticker that says "Unions: The People Who Brought You Weekends." I'm never quite sure if that's a pro-union or anti-union message. It just as easily could've been "Unions: The People Who Slashed Productivity by 28.6%." Just a thought.

Minor local story takes Chron 19 days to report

What in the hell is the purpose of printing this story now?

IT hasn't been the best of summers for Rick Brass, a former captain in the Harris County Precinct 4 Constable's Office. Brass, 56, also a lawyer, recently found himself on the wrong side of the law after a fender bender at the constable station on Cypresswood. The incident led to his resignation and a misdemeanor charge. Brass says he was at the station on June 28 when he was upset by a call from his soon-to-be ex-wife, asking him to haul a trailer home so she could move out. He installed a trailer hitch on his personal vehicle, but as he backed out, he heard a noise and slammed on the brakes. He got out and found a Honda roadster behind him. Brass said he wasn't sure he had struck it, however, so he drove away.

Brass resigned on July 6 and was charged the next day with failure to stop and give information, a Class B misdemeanor.

The story is mildly amusing, but its only marginally newsworthy, and that if it's brand new. The wreck happened nearly a month ago. The resignation and charge were nearly three weeks ago. What is this doing in my newspaper?

Chron reports on downtown bus crash, sort of

Your tax dollars at work.

This, apparently, is a Metro "solution:"

Two Metropolitan Transit Authority buses collided downtown this morning, sending four people to the hospital. An articulated bus traveling south on Smith apparently ran a red light and slammed into a bus headed east on Dallas about 8:30 a.m., said Ken Connaughton, Metro spokesman.

I have a few questions about the crash, answers to which aren't even hinted at in the Chron story:

• Was either driver cited for a violation?
• Will either driver be disciplined by Metro?
• Is there a Metro policy for incidents like this?
• Was there any damage to the hotel, or does Metro only damage buildings by using stray current?

Now I have a few questions about the story itself:

• Why didn't the Chronicle ask any of the above questions? (Hint: Because press releases don't answer questions.)
• Why isn't there a byline? (Hint: Because the story is a rehashed press release.)
• Why is the hotel incorrectly identified as the "Hyatt Hotel" when it is actually called the "Hyatt Regency Houston?" (Hint: Because Metro identified it that way in its press release.)
• Why is the hospital incorrectly identified as "St. Joseph's Hospital" instead of "Christus St. Joseph Hospital?" (Hint: see above.)
• Why does the photo's cutline list the time of the crash as "around 8:40 a.m." when the story has the time at "about 8:30 a.m.?"

The story was posted 16 hours after the crash, yet it contains barely more information than the photograph (which wasn't even taken by a Chron staffer). Come on, guys, y'all can do better than this. UPDATE: Kudos to the Chron's Todd Ackerman, who knows how to write the hospital's name as well as a good story about the facility's questionable prospects.

Chron board makes indelicate gaffe in Israel piece

Today, the Chron runs a decent editorial applauding Ariel Sharon's plan to withdraw Jewish settlers from Gaza. It's fairly unremarkable, except for this:

Pulling out is not a final solution. Some Palestinians continue suicide bombings and rocket attacks against Israelis, even as other Palestinians protest the miles of barriers Israel is constructing to protect against attack.

When pondering the future of the Jewish state, the Chronicle's editors can't think of a better turn of phrase than "final solution?" Brilliant wording, guys.

Sullivan 'apologizes' for continued existence

Andrew Sullivan has written his gajillionth "look at me, I'm gay and have HIV" piece:

"People are in such denial about how serious HIV is. Unfortunately, the best prevention is seeing people die." - Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

I'm sorry. It has taken me a long time to say this, but it's time: I'm sorry.

I've even enjoyed sex more since I became positive -- more depth, more intimacy, more appreciation of life itself. Sorry.

Hey, who cares if he's knowingly exposing others to certain death? At least there's "more intimacy."

I look physically and mentally healthier than ever.

Someone can look mentally healthier? Okay...

I know that by just going daily to the gym, walking on the beach, or dancing at the occasional circuit party, I am the cause of more people getting infected with HIV.

It's not so much the walks on the beach that spread HIV, Andrew. It's more the continued ass-banging. And what "circuit party?" My guess is it's the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

In the future I'll try to look sicker. Or I'll stay home more. Promise. I'll try to get depressed. I won't work out. I'll stay off TV.

Ooh, promise?

UPDATE: Changes underway at Mattsapundit

Greetings, valued and loyal readers! I'm glad both of you could make it. Mattsapundit will be undergoing some significant changes over the next few weeks. New blog software (WordPress, with all sorts of cool tweaks), a professionally-created new design, and much more content will be coming soon, hopefully in the next couple of weeks. However, there's one piece missing. A new name. So I'm asking for your help. I have a few criteria:

1. It should be short (two words, maybe?) and easy to remember. I'm not as young as I used to be, and neither are you.
2. It should have an available .com domain.
3. It should have some sort of meaning or story behind it. I don't want something generic like "Matt's Abuse of the First Amendment" or "Rants from a Filthy Hovel in H-Town."

That's y'all's homework assignment. I've been thinking for a few days now, and I'm just stuck. Email me with your suggestions. If I use yours, I'll buy you a steak dinner. A real steak dinner, not a Night Hawk. (Sorry Rob.) UPDATE, 1:43 a.m.: Travis over at Voice in the Wilderness offered several suggestions for a name. This one in particular struck my fancy:

RhetoricalHumidity.com (like the humidity in Houston, your posts tend to stick with people for a while)

I really like that one. In addition, my thoughts tend to make people sweat and curse. That's a good one. Keep 'em coming, folks!

Five pints of cider a day keeps the doctor away

Rob Booth and I rolled into the Arms last night for a few adult beverages. Booth had Boddingtons, which he graciously reviewed:

The ale was good. It tasted like beer, but with a kick. I liked it.

I had Strongbow, an excellent British dry cider. Here's my foray into pretentious ciderblogging: The cider was good. It tasted like apple juice, but with a kick. I liked it. Damn, I'm good.

Reading the Riot Act (no, really!)

I was curious where the phrase "read the Riot Act" comes from, so I consulted good ol' Wikipedia:

The Riot Act (1 Geo. 1, c. 5), long title "An act for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies, and for the more speedy and effectual punishing the rioters", is an old piece of English legislation allowing certain officials to declare any assembly of more than twelve persons to be unlawful and order the assembly to disperse within one hour on pain of death. Most sources say it was enacted in 1715, but it was actually enacted in 1714 and went into effect in 1715. This was a period of insurgency in England. To invoke the Act, the following words had to be read by a "justice or justices of the peace, or by the sheriff of the county, or his under-sheriff, or by the mayor, bailiff or bailiffs, or other head-officer, or justice of the peace of any city or town corporate": "Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King." In Canada, the version goes as follows: "Her Majesty the Queen charges and commands all persons being assembled immediately to disperse and peaceably to depart to their habitations or their lawful business, on pain of being guilty of an offence for which, on conviction, they may be sentenced to an imprisonment for life. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" The Riot Act has to be read verbatim, and at least one conviction has been overturned in a case where the words "God Save the King" had been omitted.

It's kind of a shame that the term has been watered down to mean just a harsh tongue-lashing, when the real meaning is "get the hell out of here RIGHT NOW or you will HANG." By the way, here's the whole Riot Act. This is how it works. If 12 or more people are rioting, a peace officer goes to the crowd and reads the Riot Act. The rioters have exactly 60 minutes after "God Save the King!" to get the hell out of Dodge. If they don't, and there are still at least 12 of them, Johnny Law rounds them all up. And if any of the rioters should accidentally be shot, stomped on by Johnny Law's horse or beaten to a bloody pulp, Johnny Law is off the hook. The surviving rioters are dragged off to a judge, where they are sentenced to death. Other provisions of the Riot Act: -Any rioter trying to demolish a church or "any dwelling-house, barn, stable, or other out-house" is sentenced to death. -Any armed person who forceably hinders or attempts to hinder a peace officer from reading the Riot Act is sentenced to death. In such a case, the rioters still have an hour to disperse or be sentenced to death, if they knew about the hindrance. -Anyone whose church, house, barn, stable or other out-house is destroyed by rioters can sue, and the town is on the hook for the damage. Interestingly, the Act applies to groups of 12 or more. If I'm interpreting this right, if 12 rioters are rioting, and the sheriff comes by and reads the Riot Act, and one of them goes home, the other 11 guys can just keep on rioting. So, the next time you feel like starting a riot in 18th-century England, remember to establish a 12-man team with one Designated Weenie.

Why the flag-burning amendment is a stupid idea

Rob Booth points out that a veterans' group has come out against the proposed constitutional amendment to prohibit desecration of the American Flag:

Veterans Defending the Bill of Rights, a network of thousands of U.S. military veterans committed to preserving freedom, today expressed its disappointment with the House passage of a constitutional amendment to ban the “physical desecration” of the flag. If passed by the Senate and ratified by the states, the proposal would be the first restriction to the Bill of Rights to be included in the Constitution.

Rob's comments are short and sweet:

This is an ACLU front group. I signed up. They're right.

They are right, and here's why. I abhor flag-burning. I salute that flag, I pledge my allegiance to that flag, and when I'm standing on a chunk of land with that flag over it, I'm pretty sure I'll be okay. When I see an American flag burning in some demonstration on TV, it really pisses me off. I've never seen one burning in person, but if I ever do, I'm reasonably certain I would beat the hell out of the guy with the lighter. The constitution might protect that hippie from the government -- and rightly so -- but the First Amendment says "Congress shall make no law," not "Matt shall kick no ass." Which is exactly the point of the Bill of Rights. It is not a handbook for how government should rule its subjects, and it's not a guide on how to be a nice, quiet lamb. On the contrary, it's all about restraining government and encouraging rabble-rousers. It's important to remember who the founding fathers were. They were not a bunch of lily-livered civil libertarians in the modern sense. They weren't upset because porn wasn't readily available in libraries or because kids prayed in schools. They were upset because they were being ruled from thousands of miles away by an inbred tyrant who taxed them without any input, who refused to allow free movement of the people, and who even made his subjects house and feed his troops. So they got pissed, grabbed their muskets, and set out to kill the government. These guys didn't screw around. And once they got done killing the government, they sat down to start over and get it right this time. So they wrote the constitution, which is revolutionary in many ways. It is revolutionary in that it changed the paradigm of the government-citizen relationship: no longer is the government the master and the citizen the servant. It is revolutionary in that it was created after a revolutionary war by government-killing revolutionary warriors. And it's revolutionary in that it even provides for its own overthrow by revolution. The whole point of the Second Amendment is to prevent tyranny by ensuring the existence of an armed citizenry, ready to kill the government if circumstances warrant. The Bill of Rights severely limits the powers of government so that the people -- collectively and individually -- are protected from those powers. It doesn't say what we can do. It says what the government can't do:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...

...the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue...

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime...nor shall any person be subject...nor shall be compelled...nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property...nor shall private property be taken

...no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined...

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

That's a lot of nos, nots and neithers. You can almost imagine King George III discussing civil liberties with George Mason: George the Third, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith: "Can I hold prisoners indefinitely?" George Mason: "No." G3: "Okay, what about summary executions?" Mason: "What, are you kidding? No!" G3: "Well, can I..." Mason: "NO!" [BANG!] Even in the few situations where the constitution discusses what you and I can't do, it puts very tough restrictions on the government's ability to nail us for it. We're not supposed to commit treason, but even if we do, we can't get convicted unless the feds have an overwhelming, ironclad, bulletproof case. Why? Because the founders were a bunch of treasonous government-killers, and they knew that every now and then, that's just the kind of guy you need. They also believed in certain restrictions on free speech, as I do. Those restrictions should rightly be imposed by reasonable social mores, not by government. Why doesn't everyone abuse free speech all the time? Why don't we walk around naked, scream "Fire!" in crowded movie theaters, or stand on a street corner and yell cuss words at the top of our lungs? It's not because we're fearful of prosecution. It's because we understand that civilized people just don't do that sort of thing. Natural respect for each other and for society limits these extreme events, without the heavy hand of government.

Who says Republicans don't have fun?

Kudos to LST taskmaster David Benzion for pointing this out:

[Source: FOX News, 5/1/03] In the beginning of Wednesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing for Bush nominee John G. Roberts Jr., Chairman Orrin Hatch praised Democrat Sen. Charles Schumer of New York for asking "intelligent" questions, but then Hatch switched gears. "Some [of Schumer’s questions] I totally disagree with," Hatch of Utah said. "Some I think are dumbass questions, between you and me. I am not kidding you. I mean, as much as I love and respect you [Schumer], I just think that’s true." A stunned Schumer asked if he heard the chairman correctly, to which Hatch said yes. Again, Schumer asked Hatch if he would like to "revise and extend his remark," congressional speak for change his mind. A former trial attorney, Hatch replied: "No, I am going to keep it exactly the way it is. I mean, I hate to say it. I mean, I feel badly saying it between you and me. But I do know dumbass questions when I see dumbass questions."

That's pretty cool. Add John McCain's role in a Vince Vaughn movie, and I have a renewed respect for Senate Republicans. Next up, Rick Santorum grabs Mary Landrieu's ass, Chuck Hagel sucker-punches Arlen Specter, and the boys steal Ted Kennedy's car and joyride to Atlantic City for a three-day bender.

Mattsapundit celebrates first contributor

Laurence Simon is a really nice guy. As part of his "Give Your Money to Anyone But Andrew Sullivan Project," your humble correspondent has been designated a Worthy Recipient™ of seven United States Dollars. Here's how the project works:

1. When Andrew Sullivan begs for money, don't give him any. 2. Give money to a blogger other than Andrew Sullivan. 3. Post on your weblog that you're not giving money to Andrew Sullivan and that you're giving to some other blogger. 4. OPTIONAL: Write Andrew Sullivan and tell him you're thought about it and given your money to someone other than him.

Sincere thanks go out to Laurence for his generous donation to the Matthew F. Bramanti Stuff Acquisition fund. I think I'll pay it forward to Rob as a directed donation -- to be used for Night Hawk dinners and wine only.

You know it's a good night...

...when a story told over a round of beers includes the following line:

So I ended up sucking face with the associate director of NORML.

Heh.

Program turns LPs into MP3s...via scanner?

I'm constantly amazed at the cool stuff geeks come up with:

This one may be a little nutty, but you have to admit nobody knew PCs could do it. In fact, I'm still not sure they can. This clever but crazy hack runs a virtual needle around a scanned image of an LP to create a .wav file of the recorded music. You won't want to rip your old LPs this way, though. Programmer Ofer Springer's demonstration file, a reconstructed recording of Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons," sounds like it's being played at your neighbor's house--across the street. Still, it's good enough that you can recognize bits of the melody. See this Web site for more, or download and compile the Digital Needle source code, fire up your scanner, and try it yourself.

How do it know?

Plame revealed identity after '3rd or 4th date'

Some folks are portraying Valerie Plame as some kind of super spy, ruthlessly outed by the nefarious Karl Rove (who probably heads up S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and K.A.O.S. on the weekends). The fact is, Plame didn't even take the most basic steps to protect her own identity:

Meeting in Paris, London, and Brussels, they got very serious very quickly. On the third or fourth date, he says, they were in the middle of a "heavy make-out" session when she said she had something to tell him. She was very conflicted and very nervous, thinking of everything that had gone into getting her to that point, such as money and training. She was, she explained, undercover in the C.I.A.

A handful of dates, and she spills the beans. Attention, foreign spies: want to seduce and recruit a U.S. intelligence agent? Forget the bribes, diamonds, threats and torture. Just whisper sweet nothings and you can turn a CIA desk jockey in under two weeks.

Chron declares women an endangered species

From today's Chronicle:

When The Methodist Hospital went looking for a new chief of surgery, it wanted someone primed to tackle a rare challenge: rebuilding a program out of the ashes of last year's split with Baylor College of Medicine. What it got was even more rare: a woman.

Who knew women were rare? I'd better go stock up.

Dinner and a Movie: Thai Sticks & Fantastic Four

This post marks the first installation of what will be a weekly feature called Dinner and a Movie. Once a week I'll be reviewing a local restaurant and a film from a regular guy's perspective, then submitting my expense report to Dan as "Research, miscellaneous." This will not be a frou-frou Ruth Reichl-meets-Eric Harrison endeavor. If it's good, I'll plug it. If it sucks, I'll slam it. Please feel free to email me with your movie and restaurant picks. Sometimes the dinner and movie will be related (think Ninfa's and "¡Three Amigos!" , and sometimes they won't. And now, on to the review. Last night, a stunning redhead accompanied me to Thai Sticks on Montrose, followed by a showing of "Fantastic Four".

Whippits knock out famed psychologist

When a problem comes along, you must whip it:

An expert in eating disorders is in trouble with the law after she allegedly inhaled propellant from whipped cream cans and collapsed in a grocery store. Police say 49-year-old psychologist Lisa Berzins of Farmington passed out in the West Hartford Stop and Shop on May 29th after inhaling from three whipped cream cans.

In the grocery store? She couldn't wait to huff until she got home? She couldn't wait until she got in the car? She couldn't even wait until she got to the checkout counter?! In the interest of fairness, let's hear from counsel:

Her lawyer, Bob Ludgin, told The Hartford Courant that he is confident there will be no convictions and says his client is innocent unless proven guilty.

I usually don't have much sympathy for defense attorneys (I try to save my feelings for people) but I have to take pity on this lawyer. The guy went to law school and passed the bar, and now he's defending a grown woman on whippit charges.

BYU student opens coffee shop... sort of

Oh, those wacky Mormons:

A Provo, Utah, establishment has everything you'd expect from a college-town coffee shop — except coffee. Vermillion Skies De-Cafe and Lounge owner Christin Johnson, a 22-year-old Brigham Young University student, wanted to provide her Mormon peers with a hip, funky place to hang out, reports The Salt Lake Tribune. But since Mormons, who make up nearly the entire BYU student body, are forbidden from touching coffee, cigarettes or alcohol, customers will find none of those substances on the premises.

Instead of brewing java, Vermillion Skies serves up hot drinks made with Pero, a German-made coffee substitute made from roasted barley.

That's pretty ingenious. But I have to say, it seems like a waste of roasted barley. There are so many other things you can do with that miraculous material.

UK Islamist: No such thing as 'civilians'

Hani Al-Sibai, who runs the Al-Maqreze Center for Historical Studies, has declared on Al-Jazeera that Muslims should make no distinction between Western civilians and combatants:

Host: "The question, in short, is whether the religious scholars... Sir, the religious law assembly in Mecca at the end of last month issued a fatwa forbidding the killing of civilians. Should we follow it or Osama bin Laden?" Al-Siba'i: "These assemblies resemble the assemblies of the Church. These assemblies forbid young people from going to Iraq to fight the Jihad. These assemblies... The Higher Religious Authority [in Saudi Arabia] are the ones who allowed the presence of Crusader forces in the Land of the Two Holy Places (Saudi Arabia). These assemblies..." Host: "Mr. Hani, make no mistake. The same assembly ruled that Jihad in Iraq is allowed against soldiers. Even Sheik Osama [sic.] Al-Makdisi, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi's mentor... Okay. Abu Hani, okay... He asked Al-Zarqawi not to kill civilians and to attack only the Americans... I mean, only soldiers..." Al-Siba'i: "The term 'civilians' does not exist in Islamic religious law. Dr. Karmi is sitting here, and I am sitting here, and I'm familiar with religious law. There is no such term as 'civilians' in the modern Western sense. People are either of Dar Al-Harb or not.

Islamic tradition divides the world into three categories: Dar al-Islam ("House of Islam"), meaning an Islamic theocracy, Dar al-Harb ("House of War"), meaning an area not ruled by Muslims and Islamic law, and Dar al-Sulh "House of Treaty"), meaning an area not under Muslim rule, but in a treaty with Islamic-ruled areas. It's interesting to note that Al-Sibai ignores Dar al-Sulh, eliminating the possibility of peace between the Islamic world and the west. You either live in an Islamic theocracy, or you live in a House of War until Muslims can win that war and turn it into a House of Islam. To hell with that. [Hat-tip: Little Green Footballs]

Van Gogh's killer speaks out in court

Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh's killer confessed in court today. Here are a few of the highlights from the Islamic extremist wacko:

"I can assure you that one day, should I be set free, I would do exactly the same, exactly the same," he said, speaking slowly in sometimes halted Dutch. He said he felt an obligation to Van Gogh's mother Anneke, present in court, to speak, but offered no sympathy. "I have to admit I do not feel for you, I do not feel your pain, I cannot -- I don't know what it is like to lose a child," he said as Van Gogh's family and friends looked on. "I cannot feel for you ... because I believe you are an infidel," he added.

This is the kind of thing we're up against.

Night Hawk frozen dinner soars on flavor, aesthetically shits on windshield

I promised yesterday that I would eat and review a Night Hawk frozen dinner. Being a man of my word, I rolled into Kroger today, slammed $2.15 on the counter and picked one up. Specifically, it's a Night Hawk "Taste of Texas" frozen dinner. The box describes it as a "Charbroiled Beef Patty with Gravy, Western Style Beans and Cornbread." Federally mandated nutrition facts are as follows:

Calories: 340 Calories from Fat: 130 Total Fat: 15g (23% of RDA) Saturated Fat: 5g (25%) Cholesterol: 65mg (22%) Sodium: 850mg (35%) Total Carbohydrates: 32g (11%) Dietary Fiber: 3g (12%) Sugars: 3g Protein: 20g Vitamin A: 8% Vitamin C: 4% Calcium: 10% Iron: 20%

I calculated the Weight Watchers Points value at 7, or 23% of my daily allotment of tasty vittles. Next, the hype. Night Hawk's package declares:

Charbroiling... it's what has made the Night Hawk Flavor Unique for over 35 years! Every Night Hawk meal features a top quality meat entree that's been charbroiled over an open flame to sear in the natural juices and that great charbroiled flavor. And, Night Hawk's homestyle side dishes perfectly complement every meal. Night Hawk meals are delicious and easy to enjoy because we take the time to prepare our meals the way would would...if you had the time.

Now, the review. The meal predictably is delivered in a thin cardboard box, festooned with stylized flames and pictures of a delicious meal served on an attractive stoneware plate with colorful vegetable garnish. After lustily tearing the box open, I discovered that the actual meal is served in a three-compartmented polyethylene terephthalate tray with a thin wrapper on top. A few wrapper punctures and 2800 microwave watt-minutes later, lunch was served:

The subject.

The meat was excellent, once I let it cool to below fusion temperature. Though the package lists the patty's ingredients as "beef, water, textured vegetable protein," It was an attractive piece of meat, with grill marks that didn't look very fake. It had a good beefy flavor without the overwhelming salty taste of most TV dinners, and it was properly juicy, not soggy or rubbery. Good texture. The gravy had separated into its components, Brown Liquid Stuff and Translucent Gelatinous Stuff. Pretty nasty looking. After a quick mixing with a fork, however, it turned into decent, but unremarkable brown gravy. The beans were nearly indistinguishable from Ranch Style beans in flavor and appearance, though the sauce was somewhat congealed. The good people at Night Hawk would do well to thin it out a little bit. The cornbread was mangled beyond all recognition. Somehow, the upper half of the cornbread nugget had migrated beyond its borders, sticking to the plastic wrap. After cooking, this portion was somewhat rubbery, but served nobly in its function of sopping up the newly reconstituted brown gravy. The bottom half of the cornbread, on the other hand, wasn't very functional. It was hard, crispy, and not at all suited for soaking up remnants of gravy and congealed bean vehicle. The color was perfect, though. Alas, I mistakenly selected probably the only Night Hawk meal that doesn't come with the vaunted Steak Sauce Packet, so no review on that. All in all, it was pretty good, but I'm still kinda hungry. Appearance: (out of four) Taste: Nutritional Value: Bang for the Buck: Overall:

Bazan details MetroRail stray current problem

MetroRail has a problem, in addition to the cost overruns, low ridership, even lower paid ridership, foul-smelling panhandlers, outages and scores of accidents. You see, due to poor design, the MetroRail power lines are leaking "stray current" into the ground. At first, this might not seem to be such a big deal. So what if a little electricity leaks into the dirt? It's a potentially huge problem. Local activist Tom Bazan -- who has been a tireless advocate of fixing this problem --sent me an email with the details:

The St. Luke's Medical Tower foundation, as well as the other hospitals, appears to be within fifty feet of a documented Stray Current generator, the electrified METRORail tram, which operates at 750 volts DC, and each power substation is rated at 8,000+ amperes of current. If one ampere of stray current will dissolve 20 pounds of iron in one year, then a stray current loss of merely 5% (400 amperes) would result in FOUR TONS of iron, yes rebar is made of iron, in one year. I am curious if the city fire hydrant line was properly protected from the stray current? Also, one should wonder if the natural gas service line as well as the building foundation of the Texas Medical Center's CROWN JEWEL, which is now situated in close proximity to the tram, was properly protected from the ravaging corrosion resulting from the underground stray current likely radiating from the tram line.

Yikes. Just think about the terrible possibilities this could cause. We're talking about potential gas leaks near hospitals with partially-dissolved foundations and spotty fire hydrant service. What's worse, we just don't know how bad the problem is, because Metro refuses to release its report on stray current. To understand the mechanics of corrosion by stray current, take a look at Rorschach's comment on blogHOUSTON.

This Hawk kills its prey slowly

Over at Slightly Rough, Rob regales us with tales of steak dinners made entirely out of multicolored salt:

I have to agree, Night Hawk is the best frozen food, hands down. If you can't purchase them in your local area, move.

Having never eaten a Night Hawk dinner, I can't really comment on the quality of the food though I suspect this one would make Edd Hendee's head cave in. However, I like Rob's choice of beverages:

Fortunately for my dear readers, I am willing and able, in the interests of science, to conduct some research this weekend into what beverage pairs well with a Night Hawk frozen dinner. I'm thinking perhaps a nice burgundy, or maybe a Miller High Life tallboy.

It is, after all, The Champagne of Beers. I still stand by my NightNight pairing as a good alternative:

Wash it down with some Night Train and you've got yourself... well, one hell of a Night.

I'll have a Night Hawk for lunch tomorrow and report back.

'And if you don't mind, I'd rather not go mad."

Thanks to Rob's prompting, I felt compelled to take a sanity test. The results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

One less thing to worry about, I guess. I'm reminded of a great scene in "Lawrence of Arabia:"

Freddy: "Are you off your head?" Lawrence: "No. Oddly enough, I'm not."

Child sex on the rise in South Africa

From the "Society Rapidly Tumbling to its Inevitable Moral Collapse" file:

One out of every three children is having sex at the age of 10, and 17 out of 100 will deliberately spread the virus if they know they are HIV-positive. These are the findings of a comprehensive survey by the Community Information, Empowerment and Transparency (CIET Africa) in November and December 2002.

Some of the other disturbing findings included that, at 18, two out of every three children had had sex. Two out of 10 pupils did not believe condoms prevented pregnancy or other sexually transmitted diseases. One in 10 said they believed sex with a virgin could cure HIV/Aids, and one in 10 had been raped in the past year. Three out of every 100 pupils thought that girls liked sexually violent boys and one out of every 10 thought that girls who got raped, asked for it, according to the study.

The study also reached an interesting conclusion:

Public campaigns and activism, said the study, had very little impact on service provision in respect of prevention or management.

You mean the government can't just throw money at this? You mean people might actually have to stop being promiscuous and start setting decent examples for their children? Who could've guessed that?

Coming soon: cell-phone service on airliners

This story has me torn. On one hand, I have a pretty libertarian view on freedom of expression. On the other hand, maybe we ought to have summary executions for people who talk on cell phones when they should sit down and shut up:

Germany's Siemens has joined forces with an Airbus joint venture to develop technology that will make ordinary mobile-phone calls possible for passengers in flight by 2006, the companies said on Monday. Siemens will supply lightweight on-board base stations for the GSM mobile network and channel selectors that will ensure mobile calls do not interfere with aircraft systems or mobile networks on the ground. Airbus, which is 80-percent owned by European aerospace giant EADS, will build the technology into its existing electronics systems, market it to airlines and maintain it.

OnAir said aircraft crew would be able to switch the on-board mobile-phone system into different modes, such as text-only, to ensure quiet times in the cabin.

That's good, anyway.

Minutemen plan Houston ops despite Chron

The Chronicle reports that the Minuteman Project will be launching its neighborhood watch program right here in Houston:

Leaders of the controversial group dedicated to stopping the flow of illegal immigration said they will patrol the streets of the Bayou City beginning in October, as part of a campaign that will extend north from the Mexican border. Houston volunteers will gather near day labor centers and corners where immigrant workers solicit work, in an effort to draw critical attention to the city's hands-off policy toward illegal immigrants. "We will be videotaping the (day laborers) and we will be videotaping the contractors who pick them up," said Bill Parmley, a Goliad County landowner who heads the Texas chapter of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps. The Minutemen will only observe to draw attention to the problem and will not attempt to make arrests, he said.

Good to hear. However, the Chronicle's choice of facts is less than stellar.

It was not immediately clear what reaction the Minuteman effort would have in greater Houston, which is home to an estimated 350,000 to 400,000 illegal immigrants, according to demographers. Polling finds Houstonians generally support immigration.

Yes, Houstonians generally support immigration. Legal immigration. That's a very important distinction that Chron reporter Edward Hegstrom either can't grasp or refuses to acknowledge. I defy the Chron or anyone else to declare that a majority of Houstonians favor illegal immigration.

Nearly 60 percent of Houstonians do not think illegal immigrants are a major cause of unemployment in the area

Is that supposed to mean we support it? I don't think serial killers are a major cause of unemployment in the area, but it doesn't mean I support serial killing.

and 67 percent think the diversity brought by immigration is a good thing, according to recent data from the Houston Area Survey, annual studies conducted by Rice University sociologist Stephen Klineberg.

Again, notice that the word "illegal" is omitted again. The fact is that Houstonians -- just like Americans in general -- overwhelmingly oppose the uncontrolled flow of people whose very first action in the United States is a federal crime.

IOC cuts baseball, softball from 2012 Games

Ugh:

Baseball and softball weren't big hits among International Olympic Committee members. Both American-invented sports were dropped today from the program for the 2012 Olympics in London -- the first events cut from the Summer Games in 69 years. The IOC couldn't immediately agree on their replacements. Each of the 28 existing sports was put to a secret vote by the IOC, and baseball and softball failed to receive a majority required to stay on the program. The other 26 sports made the cut.

But have no fear. Ping-Pong is still an Olympic "sport."

Chron knows what makes Houston tick

As usual, the Chronicle proves itself to be right on the pulse of the Bayou City with its "Ultimate Houston" ballots. Here are a few of the races, sure to be hotly contested by the average mainstream Houstonian:

Adult Novelty Store Bizarre Bazaar Cindie's Eros Erotic Cabaret Boutique Zone D'Erotica

Public Access TV Show Charles Snider Show Drugs, Crime and Politics Democracy Now!

Gay Bar Guava Lamp JR's Bar and Grill Meteor Rich's South Beach

That'll get circulation up. I can just hear the cascade of thousands of news consumers saying, "I can't stand the Chronicle's overwhelming liberal editorial bias and its week-old New York Times rehashes, but at least they let me vote on my favorite synthetic-genital outlet!" By the way, the following contests didn't quite make it on the Chron's list: "Favorite Indicted Member of Lee Brown's Administration" "Favorite MetroRail Crash Site" "Favorite Largest Daily Newspaper in the U.S. Never to Win a Pulitzer Prize"