In the other attack -- the first in living memory by women in Egypt -- the two veiled women opened fire on the bus in southern Cairo but missed, Cairo's Security Director Nabil el-Azabi said.They missed a bus. Further reports suggest the terrorists cancelled plans to attack the broad side of a barn.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Unskilled terrorists attempt Cairo attack
Islamofascist terrorist groups must be getting desperate if they're using attackers of this pathetic caliber:
Friday, April 29, 2005
Disgraced soccer ref loses job, girl, career
Why can't misfortune like this ever happen to Big Ten football referees?
Robert Hoyzer had already lost his reputation, his job, his friends and his girlfriend. On Friday he lost any hope of a career as a referee in Germany. Banned for life by the German Football Association (DFB), Hoyzer is the disgraced referee at the centre of the country's worst match-rigging scandal in three decades, a saga that has embarrassed the hosts before next year's World Cup finals. Even though the DFB dropped a 50,000-euro ($64,620) fine imposed on Hoyzer because of his co-operation with state prosecutors and DFB investigators, the 25-year-old may still face much higher civil claims for damages from clubs and fans.
ChiComs praise Yao as ideal soulless cog
The godless repressive Beijing government has declared Rockets star Yao Ming a "model worker," just in time for May Day:
"Before, I thought model workers only recognized ordinary people who worked tirelessly and without asking for anything in return," the 24-year-old Yao said through his agent. "Now the award also includes someone like me, a special kind of migrant worker. That's a sign of progress."Yao went on to say, "There, I said it. Now please don't execute my family." Now let's hear from average folks in that enlightened workers' paradise:
"What's the point of understanding it? They will never pick one of us," said Wei Yanzhou, 42, a welder from Hubei province who is helping to build what is expected to be the tallest building in Beijing. Wei works about 12 hours a day, seven days a week for about $100 a month. If he takes a sick day, the boss deducts the day's wage from his pay. Wei considers himself lucky. Many migrant workers receive no wages at all from employers who claim to be bankrupt or disappear with laborers' hard-earned money. At the end of the day, workers like Wei are shuttled back to factory dorms where they sleep more than a dozen to a small room. There is no hot running water, no heat or ventilation and little food. "We eat cabbage three times a day. Sometimes the rice has sand in it," said bricklayer Zhu Zhou, who looks a decade older than his 40 years. "We see meat maybe twice a week. We don't even get enough drinking water, never mind a shower."
Happy May Day.
[Hat-tip: Kevin Whited]
Homeland Security is on the job!
Just when you thought airport security couldn't get any more absurd:
Penguins walk through a metal detector. Friggin' penguins.
A pair of penguins from Sea World in San Antonio were traveling with their handler through the Denver airport. Security personnel made the handler remove the potential Antarctic al-Qaeda operatives from their carrying case and walk them through the metal detectors, holding up the line of human passengers. A few questions immediately spring to mind:
- Why wouldn't you just check the penguins as baggage? It's not like they're going to freeze in the cargo hold.
- What did the TSA geniuses think they were going to do if the penguins set off the alarm? "Sir, could you please remove the tuxedo and waddle through the metal detector again?"
- Aren't these birds on the No Fly List?
8-year-old jabs 19 kids with needle
This is one seriously screwed-up kid:
A third-grader stuck 19 schoolmates with her mother's diabetes blood-testing needle this week, and one pricked student tested positive for HIV on a preliminary test, officials said.Wow. But it might not be as bad as it looks:
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the risk of HIV infection after a needle stick is low, with an average of one in 300 cases leading to infection.Just one in 300? So I guess a needle-exchange program won't really stop the scourge of AIDS, will it? Hmmm?
Where are the metaphor police?
This is the opening sentence of today's Chronicle editorial:
If a camel is an animal designed by a committee, the House Committee on Standards of Official Conduct resembles a panel designed by camels.What?! How about this one, written by yours truly:
If a house editorial is a column written by a committee, the Chronicle's ability to write a decent metaphor is crap.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Pic of the Day Tripleshot!
I know you've all been itching for your pic of the day fix. Here it is.
Click pic for story.
Click pic for story.
Click pic for story.
ACLU sues to block "Choose Life" plates
This is illegal discrimination, according to the ACLU.
Always in touch with the mainstream, the American Civil Liberties Union is suing the state of Ohio, demanding that authorities stop issuing license plates with a "Choose life" message:
Abortion advocates in Ohio filed a lawsuit seeking to stop sales of the state's Choose Life license plate one month before they will be available to motorists. The American Civil Liberties Union claims the plates discriminate against abortion advocates because no pro-abortion version is offered. The suit, filed in federal court in Cleveland, asserts the plates amount to "viewpoint discrimination" because they are one-sided. Attorney John Farnan of Cleveland Right to Life, told the Associated Press the legal challenge was "a hostility both to freedom of speech and religion." He said the license plates simply promote the state's view that life is valued.I guess the ACLU and NARAL want a license plate that reads "Choose Death." At least that would be honest.
Okla. burglar has change of heart
Every once in a while, it's nice to take a break from political machinations for a heartwarming story:
A television, stereo and VCR were taken over the weekend from a house in the small town of Kremlin, Okla. Niles, the Garfield County undersheriff, said the woman who lives in the house called again this week to report another break-in. But this time all her electronic gear had been returned. The apparent crook-with-a-conscience even reconnected the wires and repaired the door jamb damaged in the original break-in. Deputies are investigating.Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Website relaunches vanity stamp program
Online postal company Stamps.com is relaunching its "PhotoStamps" program, where customers can create their own personalized postage. The stamps are printed with a machine-readable code on the right side, allowing the U.S. Postal Service to process them like traditional stamps. You can make your own at Stamps.com, or just take a look at the one I made:
I really think this thing is going to take off.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Jackass councilman apologizes for remarks
Residents of Dallas City Council District 13, you should be aware that your elected representative is a complete jackass:
A City Council member apologized to the father of a Boy Scout after calling the teenager "Count Dracula" for erecting bat houses in a park. Ira Richardson said he has received an outpouring of support for his 14-year-old son, who built the houses as part of a project to earn an Eagle Scout badge.Before you accuse me of being too hard on the jackass, it wasn't just an off-hand joke. He either went home and raided his kids' Halloween stuff or he went to a novelty store, and then appeared in an official capacity making fun of a Boy Scout's service project. Class act. The complete jackass was even given the chance to back down from his comments:After hearing about the project, Council Member Mitchell Rasansky voiced concerns during a neighborhood meeting. Rasansky also appeared at City Hall last week with plastic fangs and with a plastic bat attached to his suit.
In a letter of apology, Rasansky said he had "great respect and admiration for all Boy Scouts." Rasansky said he was only joking when he said the boy was from Transylvania and mentioned taking a "wooden stake and a cross" to the park.
When told about the teenager's trauma, Mr. Rasansky, a former Boy Scout, had little sympathy. "I have enough people to take care of in my district. I don't need a colony of bats," he said. "We want people in our parks, not flying mice."I don't know if I've made this clear, Rasansky, but you are a complete jackass. Congratulations to this future Eagle Scout. Achieving such an honor, especially at such a young age and in the face of mindless opposition, is something to be very proud of.
CBS ratings continue slide, hit all-time low
It looks like the disgraced departure of Gunga Dan hasn't helped the ratings situation at the CBS Evening News. The Black Eye Network is getting massacred in the few households where people still watch network news:
CBS' 6.1 million average nightly viewers last week was its lowest total since record-keeping started in 1987. Low ratings for "Evening News" are a setback for CBS, which had received plenty of critical acclaim for the Schieffer-led broadcast. Schieffer scored a notable scoop on the Minnesota school shooting story in his first week on the air, and the newscast showcased his conversational style via live Q&As with correspondents. CBS has averaged a little more than 6.8 million viewers in Schieffer's first six weeks at the helm, down 7% from the same period last year.And now the spin from CBS:
"Our focus right now is on the content of the broadcast. We realize it will take time for the audience to respond to the changes we're making," said CBS News spokeswoman Donna Dees. "The journalism is strong, the spirit is fresh, and the initial reaction has been very positive.I've got two questions for this spokeschick: 1. Are you admitting that strong journalism is a change from CBS traditions? 2. In what parallel universe is a record-low ratings number seen as "very positive?"
Russian cosmonauts demand space booze
Oh, those wacky Russians:
The tenth permanent crew of the International Space Station (ISS) today suggested space chiefs reconsider the ban on alcohol on the orbiter. "Fifty grams of wine a day like submariners get on a long mission would make working and living on the ISS more comfortable," Russian cosmonaut Salizhan Sharipov said at the Korolyov space control center by Moscow. The amount he proposed is roughly half a wine glass.
The ban on taking alcohol to the station is enforced by NASA but the Russian agency has been known to turn a blind eye to bottles of cognac secreted by cosmonauts for celebratory nips on holidays and birthdays.They've also been known to turn a blind eye to 55-gallon drums of vodka secreted by cosmonauts for celebratory nips upon waking up, brushing their teeth, performing experiments, eating lunch, floating around, checking the time... For another perspective on what happens when you mix rockets, Russians and rye, we turn the clock back to 1999, when the director of Russia's mission control center was arrested in Florida:
"The man confronted the male paramedic and then kicked a female paramedic in the abdomen, knocking her through the ambulance door and to the pavement, the arrest report said. Neither medical worker was seriously hurt, said Orlando Domingez, spokesman for Fire Rescue agency. The arrest report indicated that alcohol may have been a factor in the incident. Sources said Lobachev's blood-alcohol was 0.268 percent, more than three times the legal limit for alcohol impairment."
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Man bribes cop, gets busted, bribes cop
Get a load of this knucklehead:
A Brooklyn man turned a traffic ticket into four felony charges last night by trying to use $100 to bribe a cop who had pulled him over for running a red light in lower Manhattan, police sources said. The quick-thinking officer, realizing the he would need witnesses to prove a bribe attempt, responded to Holiam Clement Ho's offer by saying that two fellow officers wanted in on the action, cop sources said. Ho hand the trio of officers $100 each, cops said. But instead of a free ride, Ho got a ride to jail. At the station house, Ho admitted he offered the money, police sources said.Does the story end there? Nope:
He offered yet another $100 bribe to the police inspector who was questioning him, cop sources said.Nice one, Ho. No word yet on when this guy will go to court. Expect to see him flashing C-notes to the jailers, judge, jurors, bailiff, court reporter and prosecutor.
Chron lede shows bias in marriage debate
The Chronicle's Austin bureau chief, Clay Robison, apparently doesn't think too much of the Legislature's attempts to protect the institution of marriage. Take a look at the first sentence of his story:
Voting for the second time in two weeks to restrict the rights of homosexuals, the Texas House on Monday approved a measure to lock into the state constitution a ban on same-sex marriages and civil unions.This implies that homosexual marriage is already a "right" that is somehow being taken away by the eeeevil House Republicans. Sorry, Clay. The state of Texas has never recognized gay marriage, and it's already banned by law.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Chron covers Aggie ring ceremony
The Chronicle's got a puff piece on the storied tradition of the Aggie ring. It's a nice primer on Aggie lore. But this is what caught my eye:
"I don't drink, but this is a tradition,"the senior says, grabbing a schooner of beer. Barker drops the ring into her glass. It floats to the bottom.Floats. To the bottom. Did you ever hear the one about the Aggie who became a newspaper reporter?
Happy 15th birthday, Hubble!
No astronauts were killed in the making of this photo.
Fifteen years ago today, the Hubble Space Telescope was deployed:
Since that day in 1990, the bus-sized telescope has taken more than 700,000 photos of planets, stars and other celestial bodies. The images have helped astronomers see deeper into space than ever before -- a feat that has allowed them to prove the existence of super-massive black holes and even calculate the age of the universe, among other things.
Pic of the Friday
Sorry, folks. I again neglected to post a Pic of the Day on Friday.
Click pic for story.
Click pic for story.
Reader adds $.02 to Space Shuttle debate
I've caught a little hell lately for criticizing the Space Shuttle program. One note in particular merits a complete dismantling:
Nice “death trap” caption. You are the type of guy who goes to Astroworld, and tells your friends that you do not want to ride the Texas Cyclone because “One time some guy somewhere lost an arm on one of those things”, and then goes to watch the fireworks display.Actually, the Texas Cyclone is my favorite AstroWorld ride. Sit in the last car; it has a tendency to jump the track a little. Good times. And what do you have against fireworks? They're rockets too, you know.
Invertebrates such as yourself are the reason why children can no longer play dodge ball in school; it is too big of a danger and unfairness issueI have no problem with dodgeball. It's fun, and I was pretty good at it. Then again, dodgeball doesn't cost $16 billion a year, and a dodgeball never burned up during re-entry, incinerating seven dodgeball players and littering a 200-mile playground with explosive and radioactive debris.
if I could make a suggestion, grow a spine.Speak for yourself, Mr. Tough Guy. You see, I have to call you Mr. Tough Guy because you didn't have the "spine" to sign your name.
Get out once in a while and you may understand that the space industry in one way or another responsible for just about every new worthwhile invention that you use daily, but no, you would forsake it all if there were ANY risk!Okay, I've gone over this time and time again. But I'll do it once more for those in the back. I am not demanding zero risk from NASA. What I would like is a little honesty from the space program. Accepting safety standards, and then fudging tests to avoid meeting those standards is dishonest. Space travel is dangerous enough when it's done right. Why should we allow unelected bureaucrats to make it even more dangerous by rigging safety numbers?
Listen Einstein, its space flight, there are risks period, and the most important people who need to know that are the seven people who are in that rocket and I am sure they are made aware of it at least of it a least once.I seriously doubt the astronauts knew about NASA's cheating on safety tests.
You should try to be a little less hypocritical and maybe not criticize the program that enabled you to use the key board with which you use to type.Actually, the QWERTY keyboard was invented in 1872. The first keyboard on a computer was used in 1948, a full decade before the inception of NASA.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Happy Earth Day from LoneStarTimes.com
In honor of Earth Day, I'd like to introduce some of the measures we've put in place to ensure the protection of our fragile blue marble. Specifically, let's look at how LoneStarTimes.com stacks up against the Houston Chronicle in the environmental arena:
LoneStarTimes.com: Protecting the planet, so you don't have to. ™
| Environmental Issue: | LST | Chron |
| Printed on murdered trees | Yes | |
Occupies a massive soulless building that could be used for an urban garden | Yes | |
| Smells bad when wet | Yes | |
| Packaged in dolphin-smothering plastic bags | Yes | |
| Ingredients contain dangerous levels of benzene | Yes | |
| Ingredients contain dangerous levels of Benzion | Yes | |
| Headquarters building contains asbestos | Yes | |
| Delivered by loud, fume-belching pickup trucks | Yes | |
| Highly flammable | Yes | |
| Used as disposable bedding by its exploited homeless marketing staff | Yes |
NASA relaxes safety rules for Shuttle
Death trap.
I realize that here in Space City, USA, the shuttle program is sacrosanct. That's probably why I caught hell a while back for criticizing the program's record of wasteful spending and unprecedented astronaut-killing. Well get ready for more criticism, rocket boys. After the Columbia disaster, an independent panel established higher safety standards for manned space flight, and NASA was having a difficult time meeting those standards. So did the space agency suspend the program until the safety kinks were worked out? Nope. They just fudged the numbers:
Documents that had been revealed earlier showed that NASA was struggling to meet safety goals set by the independent board that investigated the Columbia accident. The new documents suggest that the agency is looking for ways to justify returning to flight even if it cannot fully meet those recommendations. The documents, by engineers and managers for the space agency, show at least three changes in the statistical methods used in assessing the risks of debris like ice and insulating foam striking the shuttle during the launching. Lesser standards must be used to support accepting the risks of flight, one presentation states, "because we cannot meet" the traditional standards.
But Professor Czysz, who spent some 30 years with McDonnell Douglas, a NASA contractor, compared the statistical shifts to moving the goal posts at a football game. "I was amazed at how they were adjusting every test to make it come out right," he said.This is just appalling. Unfortunately, I don't expect much improvement from NASA. Former astronaut Jim Wetherbee is pessimistic, but he's probably right:
He said work must continue to make the shuttle safer. "You can't simply accept lower standards and decide to go fly," he said. "You must do something else to earn the privilege," with further redesign to fix the debris problem and to toughen the leading edges. But that it is not likely, he said. "You know what's going to happen? They'll have no problem on this flight or the next flight," he said, and the issue "won't be on the front burner any more. We'll forget about it."
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am not against the space program. But it looks to me that standards have fallen. This country didn't lose an astronaut during flight until the Space Shuttle. In the 60's, NASA personnel played golf on the moon. That's pretty impressive. Now we can't put a schoolteacher or an ant farm into orbit without incinerating seven people.
UPDATE: Whoops. I dropped the ball on this one. Alan Shepard didn't hit a golf ball on the moon until 1971. Sorry.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Quarantine this hospital! It's an epidemic!
From the same hospital that brought you "Urhines," we now have another baby with an incredibly asinine name:
Announcing the arrival of a beautiful new baby boy at St. Francis Health Center . . . Jalen Dugpree Da'Ma ''G''This is getting out of control!
'Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad!'
169 years ago today, an 18-minute battle changed the course of history:
In just 18 minutes, Gen. Sam Houston led his Texian troops to a decisive victory over Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna and his Mexican army. The battle, fought near the confluence of Buffalo Bayou and the San Jacinto River, began the securing of Texas' independence from Mexico and led to the addition of more than a million square miles to the United States.For you Yankees out there, here's the quick version of what happened: After suffering the loss of the Alamo and the execution of more than 300 Texian prisoners at Goliad, the Texian army was pissed off. Gen. Sam Houston's force of 910 vengeful Texians charged a 1,400-strong Mexican force during the afternoon siesta, taking the Mexicans by surprise. The result:
| Texians | Mexicans | |
| Killed | 9 | 630 |
| Captured | 0 | 730 |
The battle turned the tide of the Texas Revolution, eventually expanding the United States by nearly a million square miles. The battlefield is now marked by the tallest monument tower in the world, 15 feet taller than that Yankee-built two-tone monstrosity in D.C. Take a look at the Handbook of Texas for more information on what a wild band of pissed-off Texans can do to an unjust government. Comprende, Fred Hill?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Pic of the Day: 4/20
I don't know if bacon band-aids are kosher, but matzohs sure as hell are:
Click pic for story.
World's tallest tower begins ascent
Holy freakin' crap.
The Burj Dubai building (Arabic for "Dubai Tower") has started to rise in earnest, marking a major milestone in the construction of what will be the world's tallest building:
“This is a very significant moment in the construction of Burj Dubai,” said Issam Galadari, Executive Director, International Projects, Emaar. “Over the next couple of years, Burj Dubai will rise one floor every week and people driving along Sheikh Zayed road will be able to witness its progress.”Upon completion, the tower is expected to reach 160 stories into the sky. The developer, a company called Emaar, isn't releasing the building's final height, but estimates range from 2,300 to nearly 3,000 feet. That's over half a mile, folks, more than twice as tall as the Empire State Building. The tower will have a hotel on the lowest 37 floors, followed by more than 60 floors of apartments, with another 60 or so floors of office suites above that. Cost estimates range from $1-2 billion. Sweet.
Worst. Baby Name. EVER.
Cute kid! Too bad his childhood will
consist of non-stop playground beatings.
Who would do this to a child?
Announcing the arrival of a beautiful new baby boy at St. Francis Health Center . . . Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special KI'm told that "Urhines" is pronounced "Your Highness." I wonder if the parents used old family names. Grandma Icy Eight and Grandpa Special K will be so proud of Urhines. Ugh.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Gibbons sarcastically praises NRA exhibits
James Howard Gibbons, who claims to edit the Chronicle's editorial pages, stopped by the NRA annual meeting this weekend, and now graces us with his dripping sarcasm:
The pen is mightier than the sword, but can the same be said of a .50-caliber, steel-piercing sniper rifle with muzzle flash suppression and cheek rest? I would hate to be the guy with the pen.Here, Gibbons clearly implies that the only use for such a rifle would be to shoot another person. Nice. He then goes on to drop a factual error into his "Editorial Journal," apparently to remind us that we're reading the Chronicle:
For those on a budget, I recommend one of the ultramodern, military-style carbines. Equipped with telescopic, laser-guided sight, it can hit and bring down just about any visible target.I have no idea what a laser-guided sight is. I can only suspect that it's under development by some defense contractor. Just press a button and the sight jumps off the rifle, follows a laser beam, and smacks right into your target! Good work, James. Then we're treated to a very lame reference to Dirty Harry:
Afterward, I spent nearly an hour trying to decide between a wicked little black Beretta semiautomatic pistol and a .44-caliber magnum revolver as big as my arm, perfect for making one's day.Gibbons, have you even seen "Sudden Impact?" Harry wasn't talking to his gun when he said "make my day." He was talking to a bad guy. By the way, it's Magnum with a capital "M." Page 267 of your AP Stylebook. But this is my favorite excerpt:
The one that really caught my eye displayed a huge picture of a man aiming at a rhino charging down on him. Large letters spelled out the words "Death by the ton." This versatile booth could have doubled as a wildlife preservationist's protest against big game hunting.Heh. Or it could be a CLOUT t-shirt. [Hat-tip: "Rorschach"] UPDATE: LST commenter Dan (probably not Feldstein) makes the following observation:
It’s a hippo, not a rhino.
An exhaustive study (read: 5-second Google search) reveals that Dan is right, and James Howard Gibbons is wrong again:
Hippo.
Chron serves top-notch financial news
Today's Chronicle editorial cartoon:
Today's stock market roundup:
Hack.Dow 10,145.74, up 74.49 Nasdaq 1,931.04, up 18.12 S&P 500 1,153.93, up 7.95 Nikkei 11,065.86, up 127.42 FTSE 4855.60, up 28.50
Habemus Papam! Benedictus Sextus Decimus
Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, dean of the College of Cardinals and former prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, has been elected pope, taking the name Benedict XVI, apparently to the chagrin of Reuters:
German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the strict defender of Catholic orthodoxy for the past 23 years, was elected Pope on Tuesday despite a widespread assumption he was too old and divisive to win election.But what the hell do they know? Following his election, the Holy Father blessed the crowd assembled in St. Peter's Square, and appealed for the faithful to pray for their new leader:
"Dear brothers and sisters, after the great Pope John Paul II, the cardinals have elected me – a simple, humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord," he said after being introduced by Chilean Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estivez."The fact that the Lord can work and act even with insufficient means consoles me, and above all I entrust myself to your prayers," the new pope said. "I entrust myself to your prayers."
He's got my prayers.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Ann Coulter details airport security
Hell yes.
I've never really wanted to be a low-level government employee. Until today:
KRISTA SNOOK, who looks exactly like that, seems to enjoy her job doing airport security at the Harrisburg, PA Airport a little too much.
The last time I was mauled like that, I at least got a couple of cosmopolitans and a steak first.Heh.
Sistine Chapel chimney emits black smoke
The College of Cardinals has held its first vote, and no man received the necessary two-thirds supermajority. The lack of a clear majority is not surprising; historically, the first vote often allows cardinals to cast a symbolic vote to honor a favorite colleague. The next vote will be held tomorrow. The average duration of a conclave is three days.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Pic of the Day: 4/15
Today's pic is brought to you by the Sixteenth Amendment:
Click pic for story.
But you probably already know the story.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
CafePress tries to redeem itself with Mattsapundit gear
Yesterday it was revealed that CafePress openly sells merchandise advocating the overthrow and assassination of President Bush. But maybe they're not all bad. You see, the site also sells gear that would appeal to Mattsapundit readers and fans.
Namely, the very, very limited edition Matt Bramanti tank top:
BENZION ADDS: Hey there guy, I hope your t-shirt there comes with one of these. BRAMANTI ADDS: Clearly the "I heart Matt" shirt is meant for the female sector of my adoring public. Dudes who love me may buy me lunch.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Every army needs a battle hymn
I've found the perfect battle hymn for this fight: Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me." Here's an excerpt from the lyrics:
Liberty or death, what we so proudly hail once you provoke her, rattling of her tail never begins it, never, but once engaged... never surrenders, showing the fangs of rage don't tread on me so be it threaten no more to secure peace is to prepare for war so be it settle the score touch me again for the words that you'll hear evermore... don't tread on me love it or leave it, she with the deadly bite quick is the blue tongue, forked as a lightning strike shining with brightness, always on surveillance the eyes, they never close, emblem of vigilance don't tread on meThe lyrics borrow heavily from a 1775 essay by Benjamin Frankin, as well as Patrick Henry's famous declaration, "Give me liberty or give me death." The song comes from Metallica's 1991 self-titled album, which also features a coiled snake on the cover.
Israeli students build neo-Biblical Jewbots
I can't help but suspect that Texas A&M is somehow involved in this story. Are there Israeli Aggie jokes?
Student engineers sent their gadgets whirring, spinning and buzzing across a pool of water Wednesday in a competition to re-enact the biblical Jewish crossing of the Red Sea and pour a ceremonial glass of wine -- all without anyone touching anything. The Technion, Israel's leading technical university, hosted the tongue-in-cheek competition with real prizes, a way of tickling the imaginations of budding engineers while providing a laugh or two along the way.
The special contraptions had to cross a three-meter (10-foot) distance with pool of water representing the Red Sea in the middle, pour wine into a glass and place it on the far side. No one thought it looked easy, but some were confident of winning first prize -- a check for $4,400.I...I don't even know what to say. [Hat-tip: Lauren the Beleaguered Auditor]
Update: CafePress covers up inventory
From the folks at CafePress:
The "Kill Bush" products have been removed from CafePress.com. They were created by individuals across the globe, as are the more than 8 million products available on CafePress.com, a diverse network of more than one million shops. Hate related materials are in violation of our terms of service and are prohibited from being sold through CafePress.com. CafePress.com is an automated service, and as such, products are reviewed on an ongoing basis to ensure that merchandise that is in violation of our terms of service is removed from our site.
The blogosphere and talk radio strike again. UPDATE: A search of the site reveals some of the offending material still for sale:
It reads "SAVE A TREE. KILL THE PRESIDENT."
Ugh. HOLY COW IT'S ANOTHER UPDATE! The CafePress guys are now disallowing searches for the word "kill." Search for some random word like "Kuykendahl," and you get a page saying:
Yeah, this is one of those no results found pages. We searched our catalog of millions of products for "kuykendahl", but came up empty.But if you search for "kill the president," you're directed to a page listing:
Search Results for: the president
Curiouser and curiouser. BRAMANTI TESTS THE LIMITS OF UPDATING: Some CafePress users don't want to kill the president. They just want to overthrow him. Yeah, that's illegal too:
Update: CafePress diverts us with Bush gear
Apparently this is what every well-dressed liberal will be wearing this season:
The t-shirts are marketed by San Leandro, Calif.-based CafePress.com, which produces custom-made shirts, coffee mugs and other products. According to the CafePress "Questionable Material & Prohibited Content Guidelines," the company prohibits:
* Use of marks that signify hate towards another group of people. * Hate and/or racist terms.
* Obscene and vulgar comments and offensive remarks that harass, threaten, defame or abuse others such as F*** (Ethnic Group). * Content that depicts violence, is obscene, abusive, fraudulent or threatening such as an image of a murder victim, morgue shots, promotion of suicide, etc.
Apparently, CafePress is having some trouble enforcing its own guidelines. Let's give 'em a little help. The U.S. Secret Service may be reached in Washington at 202-406-8000, in Houston at 713-868-2299, or in San Francisco at 415-744-9026. UPDATE: Stand down, citizens. The offending apparel is no longer for sale, having been pulled from the site mere moments ago. Heh. ANOTHER UPDATE: I spoke too soon. Another item for sale just happens to be a "Kill Shrub" button. YET ANOTHER UPDATE: I've got to hand it to the CafePress guys. They're clever. Now when you click on the "Kill Bush" or "Kill Shrub" links, you're directed to the page that sells Pro-Bush shirts.
Milan soccer fans go nuts, throw flares
Ah, sportsmanship.
This is why I watch baseball:
The Champions League quarterfinal between Inter Milan and city rivals AC Milan was abandoned after 73 minutes on Tuesday after Milan keeper Dida was struck by one of dozens of flares thrown down from the stands. German referee Markus Merk took the players off the pitch at the San Siro stadium after Inter fans began hurling plastic bottles and then over 30 flares on to the penalty area below them after a header by Esteban Cambiasso was disallowed.Anyone for a soccer stadium in the Bayou City? Yeah, me neither.
Pic of the Yesterday
Sorry, folks, I didn't get around to posting a Pic of the Day yesterday. So today, you get a double shot:
Click pic for story.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Chron prints bogus statistics in letters
In yesterday's Chronicle, we were treated to this letter to the editor:
Texas victims rape to shameful WHAT an absolute heart-wrenching shame that our legislators are trying to force their moral bigotry on the women of Texas.
More than 226,000 children and 104,000 adults are raped every year in Texas, and most of those rape victims are younger than 18. Texas ranks 17th in the nation of forced rapes per 100,000 people -- and those are only the ones that are reported! Rape is the most dramatically underreported crime. Statistics also show that 30 percent of rape victims contemplate suicide while 13 percent actually follow through with their suicides. If statistics cannot sway our legislators, each of those who voted to enact this bill should be forced to listen to the women at rape crisis centers all over the state, without insurance or means of paying the health-related expenses, recount their stories of abject fear and total degradation.
First of all, I have no idea what the title of the letter means. And while I realize that the content of the letters is the responsibility of the writer, it's irresponsible to print such ridiculous "statistics" in a major newspaper. Let's look at the real numbers. According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, there were 8,541 rapes in Texas in 2002, not 330,000. That same year, according to the Texas Department of Health, there were 2,304 suicides, a far cry from the 42,900 that the writer suggests. I don't mean to downplay the impact of rape and suicide in our society. They're both horrible things that we should work to eliminate. But tossing around made-up figures like the writer does damages the credibility of people who are sincerely trying to help.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Are you a South Park Republican?
Much has been made in the last couple of years about so-called South Park Republicans:
South Park Republican is a term that was circulated in a few articles and weblogs on the Internet circa 2001 and 2002, to describe what was claimed by the authors as a "new wave" of young adults and teenagers who hold conservative and libertarian political beliefs. The phrase was coined in 2001 by commentator Andrew Sullivan in response to the two principal creators of the television show South Park declaring themselves to be Republicans. The term is meant to be more of a casual indication of beliefs than a strong partisan label. For example Trey Parker is actually a registered member of the United States Libertarian Party, while Andrew Sullivan has often been very critical of the Republican Party (mostly on social libertarian reasons and for lack of fiscal responsibility) and endorsed John Kerry in the 2004 United States Presidential election. As the show’s co-creator, Matt Stone, sums it up: “I hate conservatives, but I really $%^$@#! hate liberals.”
Now you too can be a South Park Republican! Just click here and create your own South Park character:
Your humble correspondent.
Google adds live taxicab-tracking service
Need a ride? The guys and gals at Google have added a service that shows available taxicabs in real time. Specially-equipped taxis send GPS location data to Google, which displays the positions in several cities, including Houston:
Each dot represents an available cab, and the various colors represent different taxi companies.
Israel honors Nazi officer who saved Jews
Wow:
A German Army officer who saved hundreds of Jews from the Nazi Holocaust in Lithuania has been honoured at a ceremony in Israel. The story of Maj Karl Plagge was unearthed by a US doctor, Michael Good, who began searching in 1999 for the Nazi who had saved his mother. Maj Plagge sheltered about 1,200 Jews at a vehicle workshop, safe from the SS annihilation of the Vilnius ghetto. Plagge, who died in 1957, was honoured by the Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial.It's heartening to know that some compassion can remain, even in the face of a determined campaign of inhumanity.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Bizarro World Part IV
C is for cookie; that's good enough for me...
Cookie Monster is cutting back:
Bad news for Cookie Monster - the focus of the 36th Sesame Street season, which starts this week, is healthful eating habits. Although there are no plans to turn the lovable, cookie-chomping blue Muppet into Cauliflower Monster, the oversized, letter-of-the-day cookie he chomped down in yesterday's season premiere would likely be one of his last. Joining the battle against childhood obesity, the season-long theme of "Healthy Habits for Life" is clear from the jump-roping that started the episode to the longer-than-usual segment called "The Healthy Foods Name Game," in which Elmo and Zoe scoured the neighborhood for colorful vegetables to complete a puzzle.C is for cutting federal subsidies for public television; that's good enough for me.
Update: Are there editors at the Chronicle?
We frequently point out the Chronicle's liberal bias, which dominates its editorial pages and frequently leaks into its news reporting. But our beloved hometown rag has another problem: lazy (perhaps nonexistent) editing:
Bit by bit, the voices of those marching from Sacred Heart Co-Cathedral to the St. Thomas University campus two miles away on Montrose grew louder.That would be the University of St. Thomas, not "St. Thomas University."
Up front, the flags glowed under the street lights -- the red and white Polish flag blew gently in the breeze alongside the yellow and white of the flag bearing the pope's code of arms.I assume Eyder Peralta means coat of arms.
Elisha Franklin and David Goodrich, peeked out of the Saloon Lonestar bar on St. Joseph.That would be the Lone Star Saloon, not the "Saloon Lonestar bar." And it's on Travis. UPDATE: Anne Linehan on blogHOUSTON points out that the Chronicle has fixed the errors:
Bit by bit, the voices of those marching from Sacred Heart Co-Cathedral to the University of St. Thomas campus two miles away on Montrose grew louder.
Up front, the flags glowed under the street lights -- the red and white Polish flag blew gently in the breeze alongside the yellow and white of the flag bearing the pope's coat of arms.
Elisha Franklin and David Goodrich, peeked out of the Lone Star Saloon on Travis.So the answer to our question is: yes, the Chronicle does have editors. Us. Also, a sincere thanks to Eyder Peralta for making the necessary changes just minutes after I pointed them out.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Congress wants longer daylight-saving time
Social Security is going to bankrupt this country. So what are our lawmakers doing about it? Nothing. They're too busy extending daylight-saving time:
Lawmakers crafting energy legislation approved an amendment Wednesday to extend daylight-saving time by two months, having it start on the first Sunday in March and end on the last Sunday in November. "Extending daylight-saving time makes sense, especially with skyrocketing energy costs," said Rep. Fred Upton, R-Michigan, who along with Rep. Ed Markey, D-Massachusetts, co-sponsored the measure.
"The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use," said Markey, who cited Transportation Department estimates that showed the two-month extension would save the equivalent of 10,000 barrels of oil a day. The country uses about 20 million barrels of oil a day.I don't see what the Transportation Department has to do with electrical usage, but let's just assume they're right. A drop of 10,000 barrels per day in a usage of 20 million works out to 5/100 of 1 percent. That's equivalent to a 200-pound person losing 1.6 ounces of weight. Thanks, Congress. You've been a tremendous help.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Frothy-mouthed Robison: The End is Near!
Clay Robison, who oversees the Chronicle's extensive Austin bureau, is more than a little worked up over a certain congressman:
Although Tom DeLay portrays a believable Third World dictator, it is time that he stopped trying to transform the United States into his own ideological fiefdom. And it is time for him to stop sputtering ill-tempered threats, not only at the judiciary but also at the U.S. Constitution, which he repeatedly has sworn an oath to uphold.At this point you might expect Robison's editorial to deteriorate into a rant about how the Republicans want to force-feed mercury to poor children while drinking delicious puppy smoothies. But instead, we're treated to Justice Robison's interpretation of the U.S. Constitution:
But it will be inappropriate -- perhaps even unconstitutional -- for Congress, as DeLay seems to be saying, to restrict the role of the courts to review such lawsAnd now we go to the actual U.S. Constitution, Article III, Section 2:
In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.That's that.
Chronicle devotes editorial to non-issue
Illustrating their single-minded devotion to "editorial pages in their ideal state," the Chronicle's editorial board wrote an editorial on a complete non-story:
When several theaters, mostly in the South's Bible Belt, refused to show the new film Volcanoes of the Deep for fear of religious protests, it triggered a burst of media coverage and gave the movie a boost it failed to generate on its own.
Houston's Museum of Natural Science IMAX theater does not plan to run Volcanoes of the Deep, but a museum spokeswoman says creationism versus evolution is not the reason. Apparently, the film lacked the visual heft that IMAX devotees expect.And? That's it? No call for higher income taxes? No shot at Tom DeLay? No praise for some Bill White revenue grab? The folks at 801 Texas Avenue must be asleep at the switch!
Pulitzer Board shocks world, passes on LST
Despite a recent torrent of top-notch journalism, Lone Star Times has again been snubbed by the Pulitzer Board. Not a single Pulitzer Prize came our way this year.
Can you believe that?
Bramanti studies "How to Win Friends"
On the advice of state Rep. Bob E. Griggs (RINO - Ft. Worth), I flipped through How to Win Friends and Influence People. Here's the author's summary of Part Two of his work:
Six ways to make people like youI would especially point Mr. Griggs to #4.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Chron plugs special 'journalist' protections
A while back, the dinosaurs over at the Chronicle were throwing their considerable weight behind a badly written House bill that would give journalists special immunity from testifying. At the time, the Chron's editors wrote that the law should define journalism:
The bill would not create a special class of persons. Journalism is an activity open to anyone with a copier or Web site. The bill stipulates only that the journalism must be disseminated, drawing the distinction between reporters and commentators, and diarists and people who merely agree to keep a secret.As the lovely and talented Anne Linehan points out, the bill made no such distinction at all. And now the Texas Senate is coming out with its own version, complete with much of the same text:
(1) "Journalist" means a person, or an employee, independent contractor, or agent of that person, engaged in the business of gathering, compiling, writing, editing, photographing, recording, or processing information for dissemination by any news medium. (2) "News medium" means a person who in the ordinary course of business publishes, broadcasts, or otherwise disseminates news by print, television, radio, or other electronic means accessible to the public.Anyone see a "distinction between reporters and commentators" there? Yeah, me neither. Despite the Chron's objections, this bill isn't about an independent media watchdog keeping a close eye on government for the benefit of The Republic. This is about granting special immunity to journalists. "Professional" journalists should receive the same protection as any other citizen: Amendment Numero Uno. The entire point of that amendment is to prevent regulation of the press, not to create a class of protected "journalists."
Chron misstates Pope's stance on homosexuality
In its house editorial today, the Chronicle again manages to misrepresent the Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality:
John Paul II cemented his reputation as a conservative by opposing the ordination of women to the priesthood and condemned homosexuality as intrinsically sinful.WRONG. The Church does not claim that homosexuality -- that is, mere attraction to the same sex -- is sinful. It maintains that homosexual acts are sinful. Take a look at the most recent Catechism of the Catholic Church, as promulgated by Pope John Paul II:
2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved. 2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. 2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.I compare the Church's stance on homosexuality to most people's stance on alcoholism. Most people would agree that alcoholism is "objectively disordered" -- there is something fundamentally wrong with an overwhelming addiction to the bottle. It constitutes a grave temptation for many people. But temptation, in itself, is not sinful. The alcoholic's disorder makes him unable to responsibly and properly use alcohol, so he is called to avoid sin by abstaining from booze.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Pope John Paul II, 1920-2005
... [D]uring a visit to Yad Vashem, the Pope said, ''As bishop of Rome and successor of the Apostle Peter, I assure the Jewish people that the Catholic Church, motivated by the Gospel law of truth and love, and by no political considerations, is deeply saddened by the hatred, acts of persecution and displays of anti-Semitism directed against the Jews by Christians at any time and in any place.'' He also met with Holocaust survivors, including several from Wadowice, his own home town in Poland and impressed Israelis with the warmth he showed toward them.During his 26-year pontificate, the Holy Father was a staunch defender of traditional Church teachings. A landmark encyclical, Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life), reaffirmed official Catholic opposition to abortion, euthanasia and capital punishment:
It is the proclamation that Jesus has a unique relationship with every person, which enables us to see in every human face the face of Christ. It is the call for a "sincere gift of self" as the fullest way to realize our personal freedom. It also involves making clear all the consequences of this Gospel. These can be summed up as follows: human life, as a gift of God, is sacred and inviolable. For this reason procured abortion and euthanasia are absolutely unacceptable. Not only must human life not be taken, but it must be protected with loving concern. The meaning of life is found in giving and receiving love, and in this light human sexuality and procreation reach their true and full significance. Love also gives meaning to suffering and death; despite the mystery which surrounds them, they can become saving events. Respect for life requires that science and technology should always be at the service of man and his integral development. Society as a whole must respect, defend and promote the dignity of every human person, at every moment and in every condition of that person's life.The pope was targeted for assassination by the Soviet Union for his support of the Polish Solidarity movement, which led to the downfall of Communism in that nation:
The leader of the Solidarity labor union movement and Poland's first freely elected post-communist president, Lech Walesa, said the pope was largely responsible for the fall of communism throughout Eastern Europe. "The pope told me: 'Do not be afraid, change the face of the globe,' " Walesa said in an interview with Poland's TVN24 channel, describing a meeting with the pontiff during his visit to Poland in 1979, a year before the largest Solidarity strike and 10 years before the fall of the Berlin Wall. "And, after that visit, the 10 or so people who were active in the anti-communist opposition expanded into 10 million people ready to protest, ready to strike, people who trusted that communism could be defeated," Walesa said.Al-Qaeda terrorists also unsuccessfully plotted his death:
Documents found in a block of flats in Karachi, Pakistan, used as a hideout by [Khalid Sheikh] Mohammed show that he visited the Philippines on a number of occasions to finalise details for the assassination attempt. Local Islamic militants would have been used to detonate explosives while the Pope was saying Mass.
In addition to the assassination attempts, the pope was weakened in recent years due to the onslaught of Parkinson's disease, severe arthritis, and several cancer treatments. The College of Cardinals has been summoned to Rome to prepare for the Conclave that will elect the Pope's successor. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him. May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Pope 'very grave,' Cardinals called to Rome
The pope's condition has weakened further, and Fox News is reporting that his breathing is shallow and his kidneys are beginning to fail:
Pope John Paul II's condition was critical but stable, the Vatican said Friday, and he was said to be conscious, celebrating Mass and receiving top aides, asking one to read him the biblical account of Christ's crucifixion and burial. The statement seemed to end speculation that the pontiff was comatose, as had been reported earlier by Italian media. Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls (search), at one point crying, said that the pope had requested to remain in his apartment overlooking St. Peter's Square after being "informed of the gravity of his situation."The Church is preparing for the Holy Father's succession:
The world's cardinals, who will select John Paul II's successor, have been summoned to Rome, a sign that preparations are under way for a conclave, the secretive election procedure that must begin within three weeks of the pope's death. Another sign of the gravity of the pope's condition was a decision by the Vatican to keep open its press office, which normally closes at 3 p.m.
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