Weight loss update: Skinny by St. Patrick's Day?

Well, it's going pretty well. I changed to the "Wendie Plan" two weeks ago, which varies the amount of calories I eat on a daily basis. The weekly amount stays the same, but the idea is to keep the metabolism going so the body doesn't get stuck in a rut and go into starvation mode. I think it's working, as I've lost 5.8 pounds in the last two weeks. Here are the stats: Current weight is 207, and goal weight is 190. I figure I can sustain a loss of 2 lbs./week, which puts me on track to hit my goal weight by early March. My Body Mass Index is currently at 25.2, down from a peak of 33.1 in June. My current BMI is just barely in the "overweight" category, which ranges from 25.0 to 29.9. "Obese" is defined as 30.0 and up. Another 2.5 pounds, and I will officially be "normal." At least in terms of BMI. At 190, my BMI will be 23.1, firmly in the normal range. SciGuy has some interesting news about a diet drug custom-fitted to an individual's DNA. He suspects it's snake oil, and he's probably right. The only way to safely and effectively lose weight is the old-fashioned way: eat right and be active. Diet-Blog always has a good roundup of the weight loss world.

I'd call the mayor, but the bastards took my phone

I got robbed last night. I had some car trouble and was waiting for AAA to arrive when I was approached by three youths. The subsequent exchange went like this:

Punk: Let me see that phone. Me: No

Then the punk slugged me over the head with something hard, and I dropped like a sack of hammers. When I came to, I was missing my cell phone, PDA and wallet. The wallet was found this morning near a Dumpster at a nearby apartment complex.

So I spent a very fun morning on the phone with my bank, and at the Houston Police Department's Westside Command Station. The officers there were friendly and courteous, and very thorough in documenting my report.

It's a shame that good cops are hamstrung by an administration that cares more about jaywalking-ticket revenue than they do about the knot on my head.

UPDATE: On the off chance that the Boys in Blue ever catch these guys, it's nice to know they'll be stamping out license plates in Huntsville for a long while. Texas isn't very kind to robbers. Robbery is a second-degree felony, punishable by 2-20 years in prison and a fine of $10,000. Aggravated robbery is a first-degree felony, which will earn you 5 years to life, and a $10,000 fine.

Ho ho ho

Merry Christmas, y'all! It was a pretty good take this year. My folks got me new floors for my kitchen and bathrooms, so that's pretty sweet. I also snagged a blender and some cash. Hells yeah.

Taking Performancing out for a spin

I'm composing this post via Performancing, a FireFox extension that allows the user to post straight from a window that slides up from the bottom of Firefox. It looks to be compatible with Blogger, TypePad, LiveJournal, Movable Type, all the biggies.

It looks pretty slick, and has all the standard WYSIWYG buttons, so I can do stuff like bold, italics, underlining, text color, different font sizes, blockquotes, and links.

The only thing I'd add is a broader selection of buttons. Give me things like strikethrough and table creation.

Don't bother ringin' it up; it's for a duck

Kudos to the lovely and talented Anne Linehan, who hooked me -- and a whole bunch of fellow conservative Houston bloggers -- up with free food at Wolfgang Puck Express this weekend. It was nice to catch up with everyone: Anne's husband and rugrats, Evan, Sedosi, Kevin and Callie, Chris and Christy Elam, and the Rorschach family. It was nice to prove to everyone that Diane is actually a real person, despite what Callie may think. WP Express is a combination fast-food/sit-down experience, sort of like Cafe Express. The menu features salads, pizzas, sandwiches, pasta dishes, etc., in addition to beer and wine. This was a brand-new store, in the Town Center area of Sugar Land, and Saturday's meal was a dry run, which gets the staff trained and broken in before paying customers arrive. It's a win-win scenario: realistic training for the waiters and cooks, and free food for Matt. I had the meatloaf, which was served atop a bed of deliciously creamy, garlicky mashed potatoes, with a side of grilled veggies. The meatloaf was delicious. I have to agree with Rorschach:

And I have to tell you, meatloaf is not normally one of my favorite foods, but this stuff you'd loose a finger if you tried to take it away from me.

Pretty much. Diane had a chicken pesto sandwich, which was really good. Overall, a great place with very friendly service. And it was free. Hells yeah.

Third leg

Gmail's spam filters are generally very, very good. My Gmail account is about 18 months old, and I use it for everything, so the address is floating around who-knows-how-many mailing lists. Regardless, I get a spam message maybe a couple times a month. Which is why I was suprised that Gmail didn't catch the latest chunk of spam, which included this subtle little tip:

Enlarge your penis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!

Apparently the people at TequilaSpecialist.com are either sorely misinformed about me, or have allowed their mail servers to be hijacked.

Fun with Google search results

Y'all have found my little chunk of the Internet by using the following terms:

• chuck norris jokes hurricane
• free pornographic videos
• youth hockey massachusetts blog
• tookus
• women chest hair
• blog of the islamic revolution

And of course, the ever popular:

• sluts for hire

At least I won't be pigeonholed.

I didn't know that!

Fun facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.

And a whole lot more.

Nuclear holocaust? Bring it on!

During hurricane season, I kept putting off buying supplies. The stores were nuts, and I'm just not a big fan of navigating all that crap. But today I figured now's as a good a time as any to actualize the Boy Scout Motto. So I embarked on a Mattsapundit Emergency Management Agency trek to my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart, where I grabbed a big plastic tub, and rolled through the aisles, shoveling in items that might prove useful during the aftermath of a hurricane/flood/nuclear exchange/Detroit Pistons victory celebration.

Food: -Spam (for optimal sodium levels) -Fruit, canned (so I don't get the scurvy) -Chili (it's still Texas, even if it's post-apocalyptic Texas) -Stew (just like Mama used to make, before she was vaporized) -Peanuts, canned (high-energy salty goodness) -Pudding, vanilla (because chocolate pudding sucks) -Soup, chicken noodle (in case I have a post-apocalyptic cold) Water: -Spring, three gallons (nothing but the best) Tools & Stuff: -Knife -Twine (for tying stuff) -Rope, nylon (for field-expedient administration of justice) -Tape, duct (for miscellaneous taping and hostage-silencing uses) -Flashlight (for when the post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland isn't glowing brightly) -Batteries (I know damn well how shitty CenterPoint is, even in pre-apocalyptic situations) -Ammunition, .22 and .40S&W (for dealing with varmints, looters and uncooperative insurance claims adjusters) -Gasoline, five gallons (for fueling Mattsapundit Mobile Command and burning the bodies of those lucky enough to have been killed in The Incident) -Openers, can and bottle -Pens and paper -Marker, Sharpie -Camera, disposable (for filling up the post-post-apocalyptic photo album) First Aid and Toiletries: -Band-Aids (for boo-boos) -Gauze (for more serious wounds) -Bandage, ace (for the inevitable post-apocalyptic sprains and strains) -BC Headache Powder (which cures everything) -Pepto-Bismol (for the dystentery likely to set in since I didn't buy enough water) -Peroxide, hydrogen (in case my wounds don't sting enough) -Soap, dish (for removing tough, baked-on radioactive grease) -Soap, people (ditto) -Toothbrush and toothpaste (for a gleaming, minty fresh post-apocalyptic smile) -Bleach (for...um...I really have no idea) -Trash bags, plastic

I realize that I've left off some things, which I've listed below:

-Battery-operated radio (for listening to the post-apocalyptic Dan Patrick Show) -Waterproof pouch for important documents -Beer -Tarp

I'm sure there are also things I don't realize I need (the "unknown unknowns," as Rummy would say) Any suggestions would be appreciated.