Mayor of Hiroshima wishes city hadn't been nuked

Hypothetical situation: Your grandpa and my grandpa are in a bar, each alone. My grandpa is minding his own business, having a cold one. Your grandpa comes up and kicks him in the nuts. My grandpa falls down, muttering, then he gets up and busts a bottle over your grandpa's head. Sixty years later, you demand a worldwide moratorium on the production of glass. Ridiculous, right? Not if you're the mayor of Hiroshima:

But the mayor acknowledged the task would be uphill, seeing the lack of progress at a UN meeting in May meant to review the main treaty on ending the proliferation of nuclear weapons. "The review conference of the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty this past May left no doubt that the US, Russia, the UK, France, China, India, Pakistan, North Korea and a few other nations wishing to become nuclear-weapon states are ignorning the majority voices of the people and governments of the world, thereby jeopardizing human survival," Akiba said. "Based on the dogma, 'Might is right,' these countries have formed their own 'nuclear club,' the admission requirement being the possession of nuclear weapons," the mayor said.

Yeah, okay. Tired of the streets glowing in the dark, Mr. Mayor? Then make sure none of your citizens ever says the following word three times in rapid succession: Tora.

Novak to Carville live on CNN: 'That's bullshit'

Bob Novak -- who is still my choice for the Supreme Court -- got a little steamed up on CNN's Inside Politics this afternoon and said a naughty word.

Novak and his counterpart James Carville were discussing Katherine Harris' chances at a Senate seat, when Carville took a cheap shot. Yeah, big shocker there. Here's the exchange, as best as I can transcribe it:

Novak: A couple of points here. First place, don't be too sure she's gonna lose. Uh, all the establishment's against her. I've seen these [stammers] Republican anti-establishment candidates do pretty well. Ronald Reagan -- I guarantee the establishment wasn't for him. We just elected a senator from Oklahoma, Senator Tom Coburn, everybody in the establishment was against him. She might get elected. Carville [interrupting]: I -- I tell you this Bob Novak: Let me, let me, just let me finish what I'm gonna say, James, please. I know you, you hate to hear me, but you have to... Carville [interrupting]: He's gotta show these right-wingers that he's got backbone. You know, the Wall Street Journal editorial page is watching you; show 'em you're tough. [Carville laughs] Novak: I think that's bullshit and I hate, I hate that. Just let it go. [Carville keeps laughing.] Host Ed Henry: Okay. James, what do you think though seriously about this Senate race...[Novak stands up, walks off set.]

Here's the video. I am, of course, appalled that CNN would allow such crass vulgarity on its broadcast, and I demand that the FCC slap the network with an unprecedentedly enormous fine. And please, get rid of Carville. The guy is a rude, ugly, baldheaded caricature jackass who wears sunglasses indoors and orders nutria boudin at the Capital Grille.

Shop Girl points out new concept store

The Chron's shopping blogger has discovered a fascinating new development:

Finally! Houston shoppers get a concept store.

Excellent. I encourage the Chronicle's editorial staff to get down there and buy a concept. I suggest the concept of impartial journalism.

Supporting the troops, Chron style

The Chronicle is fulfilling its newfound duty to support the troops by printing the following disgusting op-ed piece, lifted from last week's Los Angeles Times:

Few people have noticed that suicide bombing is merely a tactic used by those who lack other means of delivering explosives. Fewer still seem to notice that what happened in London is what occurs every time a U.S. or British warplane unloads its bombs on an Iraqi village. But, you may say, our forces don't deliberately target civilians. Perhaps not. But they have consistently shown themselves to be indifferent to the civilian casualties produced by their operations.

Because "our" way of killing is dressed up in smart uniforms and shiny weapons and cloaked in the language of grand causes, we place it on a different moral plane than "theirs." I read an article about a Marine sniper who was given a medal at a California ceremony for having shot dead 32 Iraqis during the battle for Fallujah last year -- young men who were defending their city from an invading army. A nod to their deaths was made by the sniper and a chaplain, but these are the sentiments that struck me: "He didn't kill 32 people," said a sergeant major. "He saved numerous lives. ... That's how Marines look at it." And his mother said, "It's difficult. You send off your little boy and he comes back a man who has protected everyone." Clearly, "our" lives are all that matter and "their" lives don't count.

By the way, subscriptions to the Chronicle are now half-price. Any takers?

Chron to Houston: 'Support Our Troops'

I'm so mad I could spit. The editors of the Chronicle have decided to lecture Houstonians on how to treat our soldiers:

It's not enough to visit a grave site on Memorial Day or put a sticker on your car. Supporting our troops and their families requires effort and commitment. Troops serving in Iraq want to hear they are appreciated. Like their predecessors in the nation's wars, they like getting letters and treats and other reminders of home.

Really? They like getting treats? Who could've possibly guessed that? I just assumed they were Bushitler's bloodthirsty oil mercenaries, eager to leave their families behind for a shot at a year-long tour of civilian-murdering and Koran-pissing.

Two and a half years into the war, and the Chron is just noticing that soldiers need our support? Get with the program, fellas. We've been supporting them all along, with everything from visits to armor to tampons. I wonder if the editors have been writing letters to State Rep. Rick Noriega. Probably not, since they have the wrong address.

Chron defends NASA editorial with another one

Sigh. Last week, the Chron editorial board called the launch of space shuttle Discovery "nearly flawless," even after the Chron's news pages noted the debris that fell from the craft and its resulting damage. Today, the editors repeat the patently untrue claim that the launch was initially seen as perfect:

The celebration of a seemingly flawless launch faded with photographs of dangerous foam debris spinning off the craft's external fuel tank and the subsequent announcement of a freeze on future flights.

No one thought the launch went perfectly. As NASA operations manager John Shannon said on the day of the launch:

We're going frame-by-frame through the imagery," Shannon said. "I fully expected we would see things that we hadn't seen in the past."

I also thought this line from the Chron editorial was pretty funny:

Likewise, in the design of a new launch system, [NASA Administrator Michael Griffin] indicates that never again will NASA put crew members in a hazardous position below foam-crusted fuel tanks.

Gosh, where could NASA engineers find such an innovative design? Ooh, I know! They could just look out the window at the 30-year-old Saturn V rocket that's parked at the Johnson Space Center.

Guard fighters leave Ellington Field for Iraq

A few weeks ago, our beloved hometown rag said the Texas Air National Guard's F-16 fighter jets at Ellington Field are all but useless in the War on Terror:

However, the F-16 fighters of the Texas Air National Guard stationed at Ellington Field would seem to have limited utility in deterring or attacking today's terrorists.

Shockingly, the Pentagon disagrees with the Chronicle's editorial board. You see, the 147th Fighter Wing is on its way to Iraq for some good old-fashioned bad-guy killin':

Ellington Field was the scene of tears, hugs and American flags Tuesday night as several hundred personnel from the 147th Fighter Wing of the Texas Air National Guard shipped out for Iraq. The mission, at a time when the Pentagon is considering retiring all of the wing's F-16s, is to provide air support for ground troops. Personnel and pilots are expected to remain in Iraq until the early fall.

Also, for some odd reason, this story is filed in the Chron's sports directory.

Crappy Mariners pitcher busted for steroids

Like my mama always said: cheaters never prosper.

Seattle Mariners pitcher Ryan Franklin has received a 10-day suspension under the terms of Major League Baseball's steroids policy. A day after baseball announced that Baltimore first baseman Rafael Palmeiro had failed his test, Franklin became the eighth player to receive a suspension under MLB's more stringent drug policy, which took effect in March. The commissioner's office announced the suspension Tuesday afternoon. A representative from Franklin-Frye-McCann agency, which represents Franklin, said the pitcher would talk to the media after 2 p.m. ET in Detroit. Franklin, 32, has a career record of 33-46 with a 4.19 ERA in six major-league seasons, all with Seattle. He is 6-11 with a 4.61 ERA in 22 games this season, including 20 starts.

How about that. The guy's been shooting juice and he still can't manage to throw more than two winning seasons in six. Despite using the allegedly performance-enhancing substances, this meathead (whose salary is $2.7 million) is 2-and-5 at home. Think this will keep him out of the Hall of Fame? And so, Ryan Franklin, allow me to issue the following heartfelt statement: you suck.

More steroid busts in big leagues?

Word around the campfire is two more Major League ballplayers will be suspended tomorrow under the league's steroid policy. 750:1 odds that Tim Redding isn't among them.

Fahd bin Abdul Aziz Al-Saud, 1923-2005

Boo-friggin-hoo:

Reports from Saudi Arabia say that King Fahd has died. The reports quote hospital officials and sources close to the royal family, and Saudi TV interrupted regular programmes with Koran readings.

With the death of its leader, I guess the House of Saud will have no choice but to embrace democratic reforms, tone down the Wahhabi rhetoric, stop funding Palestinian terrorists, and push the literacy rate above 80%. Riiiiiiight.