Who says Republicans don't have fun?

Kudos to LST taskmaster David Benzion for pointing this out:

[Source: FOX News, 5/1/03] In the beginning of Wednesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing for Bush nominee John G. Roberts Jr., Chairman Orrin Hatch praised Democrat Sen. Charles Schumer of New York for asking "intelligent" questions, but then Hatch switched gears. "Some [of Schumer’s questions] I totally disagree with," Hatch of Utah said. "Some I think are dumbass questions, between you and me. I am not kidding you. I mean, as much as I love and respect you [Schumer], I just think that’s true." A stunned Schumer asked if he heard the chairman correctly, to which Hatch said yes. Again, Schumer asked Hatch if he would like to "revise and extend his remark," congressional speak for change his mind. A former trial attorney, Hatch replied: "No, I am going to keep it exactly the way it is. I mean, I hate to say it. I mean, I feel badly saying it between you and me. But I do know dumbass questions when I see dumbass questions."

That's pretty cool. Add John McCain's role in a Vince Vaughn movie, and I have a renewed respect for Senate Republicans. Next up, Rick Santorum grabs Mary Landrieu's ass, Chuck Hagel sucker-punches Arlen Specter, and the boys steal Ted Kennedy's car and joyride to Atlantic City for a three-day bender.

Mattsapundit celebrates first contributor

Laurence Simon is a really nice guy. As part of his "Give Your Money to Anyone But Andrew Sullivan Project," your humble correspondent has been designated a Worthy Recipient™ of seven United States Dollars. Here's how the project works:

1. When Andrew Sullivan begs for money, don't give him any. 2. Give money to a blogger other than Andrew Sullivan. 3. Post on your weblog that you're not giving money to Andrew Sullivan and that you're giving to some other blogger. 4. OPTIONAL: Write Andrew Sullivan and tell him you're thought about it and given your money to someone other than him.

Sincere thanks go out to Laurence for his generous donation to the Matthew F. Bramanti Stuff Acquisition fund. I think I'll pay it forward to Rob as a directed donation -- to be used for Night Hawk dinners and wine only.

You know it's a good night...

...when a story told over a round of beers includes the following line:

So I ended up sucking face with the associate director of NORML.

Heh.

Program turns LPs into MP3s...via scanner?

I'm constantly amazed at the cool stuff geeks come up with:

This one may be a little nutty, but you have to admit nobody knew PCs could do it. In fact, I'm still not sure they can. This clever but crazy hack runs a virtual needle around a scanned image of an LP to create a .wav file of the recorded music. You won't want to rip your old LPs this way, though. Programmer Ofer Springer's demonstration file, a reconstructed recording of Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons," sounds like it's being played at your neighbor's house--across the street. Still, it's good enough that you can recognize bits of the melody. See this Web site for more, or download and compile the Digital Needle source code, fire up your scanner, and try it yourself.

How do it know?

Plame revealed identity after '3rd or 4th date'

Some folks are portraying Valerie Plame as some kind of super spy, ruthlessly outed by the nefarious Karl Rove (who probably heads up S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and K.A.O.S. on the weekends). The fact is, Plame didn't even take the most basic steps to protect her own identity:

Meeting in Paris, London, and Brussels, they got very serious very quickly. On the third or fourth date, he says, they were in the middle of a "heavy make-out" session when she said she had something to tell him. She was very conflicted and very nervous, thinking of everything that had gone into getting her to that point, such as money and training. She was, she explained, undercover in the C.I.A.

A handful of dates, and she spills the beans. Attention, foreign spies: want to seduce and recruit a U.S. intelligence agent? Forget the bribes, diamonds, threats and torture. Just whisper sweet nothings and you can turn a CIA desk jockey in under two weeks.

Chron declares women an endangered species

From today's Chronicle:

When The Methodist Hospital went looking for a new chief of surgery, it wanted someone primed to tackle a rare challenge: rebuilding a program out of the ashes of last year's split with Baylor College of Medicine. What it got was even more rare: a woman.

Who knew women were rare? I'd better go stock up.

Dinner and a Movie: Thai Sticks & Fantastic Four

This post marks the first installation of what will be a weekly feature called Dinner and a Movie. Once a week I'll be reviewing a local restaurant and a film from a regular guy's perspective, then submitting my expense report to Dan as "Research, miscellaneous." This will not be a frou-frou Ruth Reichl-meets-Eric Harrison endeavor. If it's good, I'll plug it. If it sucks, I'll slam it. Please feel free to email me with your movie and restaurant picks. Sometimes the dinner and movie will be related (think Ninfa's and "¡Three Amigos!" , and sometimes they won't. And now, on to the review. Last night, a stunning redhead accompanied me to Thai Sticks on Montrose, followed by a showing of "Fantastic Four".

Whippits knock out famed psychologist

When a problem comes along, you must whip it:

An expert in eating disorders is in trouble with the law after she allegedly inhaled propellant from whipped cream cans and collapsed in a grocery store. Police say 49-year-old psychologist Lisa Berzins of Farmington passed out in the West Hartford Stop and Shop on May 29th after inhaling from three whipped cream cans.

In the grocery store? She couldn't wait to huff until she got home? She couldn't wait until she got in the car? She couldn't even wait until she got to the checkout counter?! In the interest of fairness, let's hear from counsel:

Her lawyer, Bob Ludgin, told The Hartford Courant that he is confident there will be no convictions and says his client is innocent unless proven guilty.

I usually don't have much sympathy for defense attorneys (I try to save my feelings for people) but I have to take pity on this lawyer. The guy went to law school and passed the bar, and now he's defending a grown woman on whippit charges.

BYU student opens coffee shop... sort of

Oh, those wacky Mormons:

A Provo, Utah, establishment has everything you'd expect from a college-town coffee shop — except coffee. Vermillion Skies De-Cafe and Lounge owner Christin Johnson, a 22-year-old Brigham Young University student, wanted to provide her Mormon peers with a hip, funky place to hang out, reports The Salt Lake Tribune. But since Mormons, who make up nearly the entire BYU student body, are forbidden from touching coffee, cigarettes or alcohol, customers will find none of those substances on the premises.

Instead of brewing java, Vermillion Skies serves up hot drinks made with Pero, a German-made coffee substitute made from roasted barley.

That's pretty ingenious. But I have to say, it seems like a waste of roasted barley. There are so many other things you can do with that miraculous material.

UK Islamist: No such thing as 'civilians'

Hani Al-Sibai, who runs the Al-Maqreze Center for Historical Studies, has declared on Al-Jazeera that Muslims should make no distinction between Western civilians and combatants:

Host: "The question, in short, is whether the religious scholars... Sir, the religious law assembly in Mecca at the end of last month issued a fatwa forbidding the killing of civilians. Should we follow it or Osama bin Laden?" Al-Siba'i: "These assemblies resemble the assemblies of the Church. These assemblies forbid young people from going to Iraq to fight the Jihad. These assemblies... The Higher Religious Authority [in Saudi Arabia] are the ones who allowed the presence of Crusader forces in the Land of the Two Holy Places (Saudi Arabia). These assemblies..." Host: "Mr. Hani, make no mistake. The same assembly ruled that Jihad in Iraq is allowed against soldiers. Even Sheik Osama [sic.] Al-Makdisi, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi's mentor... Okay. Abu Hani, okay... He asked Al-Zarqawi not to kill civilians and to attack only the Americans... I mean, only soldiers..." Al-Siba'i: "The term 'civilians' does not exist in Islamic religious law. Dr. Karmi is sitting here, and I am sitting here, and I'm familiar with religious law. There is no such term as 'civilians' in the modern Western sense. People are either of Dar Al-Harb or not.

Islamic tradition divides the world into three categories: Dar al-Islam ("House of Islam"), meaning an Islamic theocracy, Dar al-Harb ("House of War"), meaning an area not ruled by Muslims and Islamic law, and Dar al-Sulh "House of Treaty"), meaning an area not under Muslim rule, but in a treaty with Islamic-ruled areas. It's interesting to note that Al-Sibai ignores Dar al-Sulh, eliminating the possibility of peace between the Islamic world and the west. You either live in an Islamic theocracy, or you live in a House of War until Muslims can win that war and turn it into a House of Islam. To hell with that. [Hat-tip: Little Green Footballs]