Mattsapundit

Hasta la vista, Blogger

2006-02-13T12:12:00.000-06:00

Mattsapundit now has a new home: mattsapundit.com. The new blog has all sorts of changes. Obviously, my own domain, hosted by the good people at BlueHost. The new blog is also running WordPress, which means I can have niceties like trackback, categories, Technorati tags, multiple themes and all sorts of other goodies. Check it out.

2006-02-11T00:50:00.000-06:00

Dreams

2006-02-07T08:37:00.000-06:00

I had a dream last night that I was run over by a car driven by Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) Any insights on what the hell that means would be appreciated.

By order of the prophet, we ban that boogie sound

2006-02-04T00:35:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the image of Mohammed: These drawings have set off flag-burning riots, attacks on diplomatic posts, and gunfire around the world. So, it's time for an open letter to the Muslim world:

Dear Muslim World, We thought you'd appreciate the cartoons, since your society's literacy rate lags ours by about 35 percentage points. Should we use smoke signals to communicate? In conclusion, knock it off. Love, Civilization

Courtesy of the Religion of Peace

2006-02-03T23:36:00.000-06:00

Free speech, Islamofascist-style: The 80s called, and they want their jacket back. So what was the "slander?" Daring to suggest that Islam is angry and violent. Gee, where would we get that idea? By the way, that photo wasn't taken on some rock-strewn street in Jalalabad. It was in London.

Planes, Trains and Plantains

2006-01-31T12:32:00.000-06:00

This is without a doubt the most amusing English essay I have ever encountered.

Gmail and the paradox of organization

2006-01-31T01:29:00.000-06:00

I've used Gmail since 7/9/05, when I bought an invite on eBay for a couple bucks. I'm just now downloading it all via Thunderbird, and the volume of information is absolutely staggering. In the 571 days I've had the free account, I've sent and received 17,037 emails, plus spam. As I was downloading it to Thunderbird, it occurred to me that Google products turn our traditional sense of organization on its head, and I'm not sure that's entirely a good thing. On one hand, you've got traditional organization of information. Think of a public library, with floors and floors of stacks and stacks. All the books are carefully organized by topic, author, you name it. The same mindset used to work for organizing email. You put stuff in folders of various types. Some of them group messages by sender, some by subject, etc. That's all out the window. Now you've got the benefits of organization -- rapid recall of information by referring to meaningful associations -- without the work. My inbox used to be an array of meticulously arranged folders, which required conscious effort to maintain. Now, it's as though I tore every page out of every book and tossed them all in a swimming pool. But when I'm looking for something, I can dive in and grab the right page, every time. In making traditional organization quaint -- if not completely obsolete -- I wonder how we're fundamentally altering our thinking about organization. Does the benefit of organization come from having access to a set of well-sorted items? Or does it come from the act of sorting the items, making hundreds of subconscious connections as you go along? I relate this to note-taking in college lectures. I always took pretty good notes, but I rarely went back and studied from them. I used the act of taking notes -- the act of organizing -- to straighten out my thoughts. I would bet that if you rigged someone up with a machine to monitor brain activity, you'd see different areas light up when they're searching on Google than you would when they're looking for something in a library, and I bet the Google-stimulated areas would be related to social dealings and relationships. Now if I can just get a grant...

'So please give me some tea...'

2006-01-30T22:37:00.000-06:00

Lately I've been eating sushi a lot. I don't know what it is, but I can't get enough sushi. That's why I was so excited to find this video.

Pancakes and bizarre sexual deviancy

2006-01-26T02:01:00.000-06:00

Late tonight I had a hankerin' for some tasty vittles, so I scooted on down to the local IHOP for a jalapeno omelet. The place was pretty empty: just me, a trucker, the waitress and the cook. Then the transsexual hooker walked in, with a guy who I really hope knew what he was doing. This wasn't one of those transsexuals where you look and say, "That might not be a woman." This was plain as day. You see, I was blessed with an eye for subtle details that escape the notice of ordinary people. For example:

She was about 6-foot-2.
She was built like a brick shitter.
She had a five o' clock shadow.
And an Adam's apple.

But I've got to hand it to Peggy Sue; what she lacked in skill she made up in determination. She had on a ridiculous miniskirt, high heels and a big red wig. She walked with an exaggerated feminine gait and spoke with an exaggerated feminine voice. The kicker was the exaggerated feminine pickiness. She and her, um, dining companion tried three different tables before settling on one. I guess they wanted the perfect view of a nearly vacant parking lot. Peggy Sue ordered a normal breakfast -- bacon, eggs and toast -- but with weird stipulations. Every item on a separate plate. One scrambled egg, one fried. One piece of wheat toast, one piece of white toast. In the 20 minutes I was there, Peggy got up to use the ladies room twice. She didn't shave either time.

Weight loss update: Normal at last

2006-01-24T15:26:00.000-06:00

I weighed in today at 204 pounds, putting my Body Mass Index at 24.8, below the official threshold for "overweight." Now I'm normal. Kinda. Accordingly, the "Matt's Fat Ass Update" box in the sidebar has been amended.

That's my cell phone number; hit me up on the low

2006-01-24T15:05:00.000-06:00

I'm in the market for a new cell phone. I've been using an old phone since those wretched scumbags stole my new one, and I'm tired of it crapping out. Any suggestions? Requirements are as follows, in descending order of importance:

Compatibility with the Verizon CDMA netword
Bright screen
Good battery life

In addition, the following features would be nice, but aren't deal-breakers:

Speakerphone
Camera
Color front screen

By the way, the title of this post was inspired by the lyrical stylings of Mike Jones. (Who?)

Memorial Eye Center and the five-hour burrito

2006-01-24T12:28:00.000-06:00

Let me preface this with what I expect as a customer: I want a business to appreciate the value of my time and money. I want businesses to realize that they are competing with other businesses for that time and money. Memorial Eye Center fails big time. I went in to order a pair of glasses. I picked out a pair, and told the woman that I'd like to buy them, filled with my prescription, which the store has on file. She spent a couple minutes filling out a form, then said "Oh, these will take a little longer." Apparently that frame requires the use of a machine that the store didn't have. Okay, fine. "How long?" "About two weeks." TWO WEEKS?! Are you freaking kidding me? Keep in mind that I can think of at least a half-dozen places where I could get glasses in AN HOUR. Let's say Memorial Eye Center is open 50 hours a week. That means that this East Berlin of an eyeglass store takes 100 times longer than its competitors to make the exact same product. Here's an analogy. Let's say you like Taco Bell. You drive through Taco Bell once a week and buy a burrito. Average time for the transaction is, say, three minutes. Would you go to a competing taco joint and wait FIVE HOURS (3 min x 100) for the exact same burrito? Yeah, me neither. Memorial Eye Center, you suck.

Just let your Soul Glo...

2006-01-23T01:01:00.000-06:00

I was in the grocery store the other day, and I noticed a section of toiletry-type products marked "Ethnic HBC." I assume HBC means "hair and beauty care," or something like that. The products were all targeted at the beauty concerns of black folks, and they bore photographs of attractive black people. Black guys tend to get razor bumps from shaving, so companies offer special lotions and shaving creams to combat that problem. Black folks tend to have coarse, kinky hair, which requires different care than the straight or curly hair generally found on people of other races. That's all fine with me. We're all different, and we have different needs in beauty products. Look at soap: some people have oily skin, some have very dry skin, some are allergic to fragrances, some break out very easily. These are biological differences, and different products are available to address them. My problem is with the use of the word "ethnic." Words mean things, and the grocery chain is stripping this word of its proper meaning. Everyone is ethnic. Here's how Merriam-Webster defines the word:

of or relating to large groups of people classed according to common racial, national, tribal, religious, linguistic, or cultural origin or background

And that's the second definition, which I think is more commonly used. The first definition is actually pretty insulting:

HEATHEN

So, instead of using "Black Hair Care" or "African-American Beauty Products," the company opted instead to say something that could be interpreted as "Heathen Beauty Products" or "Uncivilized Hair Care." Yikes. Of course, the company wasn't trying to say that. It just refused to say "Black" or "African-American," probably to avoid appearing divisive or segregationist. Instead, it's stuck saying something which is meaningless at best, and horribly racist at worst. And yet, the company is inconsistent in its practice. The same store has a section, stocked with foods from Mexico. It's got Goya products, hot peppers, and even candles with Catholic saints on them. This section is labeled "Hispanic." I find it interesting that one ethnic minority can be marketed to explicitly and openly, while another ethnic minority is marketed to only by use of a code word.

Site lets you search for music by tapping rhythms

2006-01-18T17:35:00.000-06:00

Arthur C. Clarke once wrote:

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Songtapper isn't quite there, but it's close. The site allows users to search for music by tapping the keyboard to the rhythm of the lyrics. I don't know how accurate it is overall, but it got "Rock You Like a Hurricane" right on the first try. [Hat-tip: Lifehacker]

Russell Alan Sartain, 1951-2006

2006-01-17T17:03:00.000-06:00

Russ Sartain died January 13, the victim of a hit-and-run accident in Galveston. He was buried today in the most heavily attended funeral I have ever witnessed. He coached me in Little League for several years. I wouldn't say I knew him well, but the man who called me "Mattholomew" made a big, positive impact on my life. I was never a good baseball player; accordingly, I was usually relegated to right field. Regardless, when draft time came around every year, Coach Sartain skipped better players in order to keep me on the Zebras with my friends. Coach Sartain was a master at balancing the seemingly contradictory tasks of a Little League coach: he instilled a desire to win, a dedication to fair play, development of his players, and fun. He was a fine example of the Little League Pledge:

I trust in God I love my country And will respect its laws I will play fair And strive to win But win or lose I will always do my best

I don't remember many specific games, or big plays or end-of-the-season parties. What I remember is his words. I remember him writing "GF" on the roster after an absent player's name, signifying that the kid had "Gone Fishing." I remember him meeting my friend Lorne (who was named for Lorne Greene), then joking "I guess your folks were watching Bonanza that night." I remember that he always called the Astros (one of the better teams in our league) the "Half-Astros." Most of all, I remember his declaration that "a good excuse is still an excuse" and to this day I try to remind myself of that. Thanks, Coach. So let us commend our brother to the Lord, that the Lord may embrace him in peace, and raise up his body on the last day. Amen.

In Soviet Russia, shots of Jager drink YOU!

2006-01-15T01:27:00.000-06:00

Last night's audio from the Flying Saucer:

The cast of characters in this little tragedy includes (in rough order of appearance): Amy the bartendrix, waxing poetic about Harry Potter Freddy, egging her on Me, messing with Chris Chris, threatening to kill me

AT&T gets new logo, still won't sell me a telegraph

2006-01-09T19:54:00.000-06:00

Telecom giant AT&T recently revamped its logo, following its purchase by SBC. Trivial? Maybe at a glance, but the financial implications are enormous. Just think of the costs the company will have to incur:

An extensive re-branding initiative will occur over several months, with changes planned for the following:
Nearly 50,000 company vehicles.
More than 6,000 company buildings
Roughly 40,000 uniforms and hardhats worn by company service representatives.
More than 30 million monthly customer bills.
Millions of business cards, customer information pamphlets, and phone and online directories.
Company Web sites.

We're talking a long-term change, costing millions upon millions of dollars. You can't just roll into Earl Scheib and get 50,000 trucks painted overnight. So it's a big deal. Time for some critical analysis. Here's the design that used to grace Ma Bell's shingle: The old logo -- which was jealously protected -- consists of a blue circle made of latitudinal lines, on the upper left portion of which is projected a round, glowing spot. Both a solid (shown above) and a gradient version were produced. The gradient version is pretty much the same, only it has various shades of blue, which offer a more spherical feel. Below this symbol is "AT&T." Let's take a look at the portions of the old logo and what they represent:

Blue circle: The Earth. It may be American Telephone and Telegraph, but it reaches across the globe.
Latitudinal lines: Connote the global and communicative nature of the company, while visually turning a circle into a sphere.
Glowing spot: Located in the northern and western hemispheres of this logo, the glowing spot represents the enlightened modernity (thanks to Ma Bell) distinctive of the American telecommunications system. It's the A in AT&T.
"AT&T": Printed in a bold, don't-fuck-with-us, monopolistic typeface.

I always liked this logo. It was simple, with only two colors (three, if you count the white). It was instantly recognizable even without the text, like the Chevrolet bow tie, the Nike swoosh, or the Apple apple. And it kinda looked like a baby blue Death Star. Now, the new design, created by Interbrand: Here's my take on the new logo, bit by bit

Blue and white circle: Still the earth, though the weather appears to be significantly cloudier than it was in the '80s, and the planet is much more translucent. Possibly meant to evoke ideas of the transparency and openness that global communications can bring. Or maybe not.
Latitudinal lines, with see-through effect: Same idea as the old logo, but intended for a more pronounced 3-D effect. It comes off looking like a beach ball.
Glowing spot: Much less pronounced, and reversed in color. Here, the latitudinal blue lines swell. The placement is still in the northern and western hemisphere, though that's more subtle now, since the top of the globe has been rotated towards the viewer and to the left a few degrees. Again, it's an effort to emphasize the three-dimensional nature of the design. I'm not sure why; that whole round-earth thing was settled a while back. Or maybe not.
Lowercase letters: The boldface is gone, and the letters are kinder and gentler. A sort of cutesy aw-shucks, we're-still-here false modesty. Crap. An $80 billion corporation has no business acting like a teenaged girl named Staci who dots the I with a heart.

As you can probably tell, I'm not a big fan of this one. I don't think there's any major strategic screw-up on AT&T's part; I just don't find the new logo aesthetically pleasing. That said, AT&T did a number of things right with this rebranding, and the company should be applauded. First, the company stayed true to its roots by refusing to rename itself. It's still AT&T, just like it's been since the earth cooled. The company was formed by the union of two firms with refreshingly boring names: SBC Communications (formerly Southwestern Bell), and AT&T (formerly American Telephone and Telegraph Company). The brass could've made up a name by splicing real words, like American Express did when it spun off its brokerage as "Ameriprise." Or, it could've come up with a stupid name that focus-grouped well, despite being completely devoid of meaning. Altria and Enron come to mind. And in the phone business, we've got Verizon. Select a prescription drug at random for another meaningless name. Kudos to the AT&T board, for dancing with the guy that brung 'em. Second, the changes in the logo are evolutionary, not revolutionary. The overall design is pretty much the same; it's just been tweaked a little to bring it up to date. The change is similar to Apple shedding its rainbow in or NBC's peacock refits, Small, incremental modifications connote stability, something consumers like to see in what is really a utility company, and those changes have been apparent during the history of Bell/SBC/AT&T, something the company points out. Third, the logo's three-dimensional design allows for a greater range of motion than the old, flatter mark. I saw a commercial where the ball spun 90 degrees or so, bringing the bolder blue portion across, and it looked nice. One geeky beef: in the commercial, the logo rotated clockwise (from a north pole vantage point). The real world spins counterclockwise. Was this a subtle message that AT&T is company that's unafraid to go against the grain? Maybe. But probably some animator just nodded off in his astrophysics lectures. Fourth, the new vans look really cool. Here's AT&T's official corporate stuff about the merger in general, and about the logo's unveiling. And of course, other bloggers have a lot to say.

Oh baby, dance with me

2006-01-08T15:58:00.000-06:00

I've got "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" stuck in my head. Seriously stuck. It's been in there for two days now. If it doesn't go away, I'll have to dig it out with a fork.

Oh everybody have fun tonight Everybody have fun tonight Everybody wang chung tonight Everybody have fun tonight Everybody wang chung tonight Everybody have fun

Damn, it's catchy.

Weight loss update: Skinny by St. Patrick's Day?

2005-12-29T14:05:00.000-06:00

Well, it's going pretty well. I changed to the "Wendie Plan" two weeks ago, which varies the amount of calories I eat on a daily basis. The weekly amount stays the same, but the idea is to keep the metabolism going so the body doesn't get stuck in a rut and go into starvation mode. I think it's working, as I've lost 5.8 pounds in the last two weeks. Here are the stats: Current weight is 207, and goal weight is 190. I figure I can sustain a loss of 2 lbs./week, which puts me on track to hit my goal weight by early March. My Body Mass Index is currently at 25.2, down from a peak of 33.1 in June. My current BMI is just barely in the "overweight" category, which ranges from 25.0 to 29.9. "Obese" is defined as 30.0 and up. Another 2.5 pounds, and I will officially be "normal." At least in terms of BMI. At 190, my BMI will be 23.1, firmly in the normal range. SciGuy has some interesting news about a diet drug custom-fitted to an individual's DNA. He suspects it's snake oil, and he's probably right. The only way to safely and effectively lose weight is the old-fashioned way: eat right and be active. Diet-Blog always has a good roundup of the weight loss world.

I'd call the mayor, but the bastards took my phone

2005-12-28T12:33:00.000-06:00

I got robbed last night. I had some car trouble and was waiting for AAA to arrive when I was approached by three youths. The subsequent exchange went like this:

Punk: Let me see that phone. Me: No

Then the punk slugged me over the head with something hard, and I dropped like a sack of hammers. When I came to, I was missing my cell phone, PDA and wallet. The wallet was found this morning near a Dumpster at a nearby apartment complex.

So I spent a very fun morning on the phone with my bank, and at the Houston Police Department's Westside Command Station. The officers there were friendly and courteous, and very thorough in documenting my report.

It's a shame that good cops are hamstrung by an administration that cares more about jaywalking-ticket revenue than they do about the knot on my head.

UPDATE: On the off chance that the Boys in Blue ever catch these guys, it's nice to know they'll be stamping out license plates in Huntsville for a long while. Texas isn't very kind to robbers. Robbery is a second-degree felony, punishable by 2-20 years in prison and a fine of $10,000. Aggravated robbery is a first-degree felony, which will earn you 5 years to life, and a $10,000 fine.

Ho ho ho

2005-12-25T15:14:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas, y'all! It was a pretty good take this year. My folks got me new floors for my kitchen and bathrooms, so that's pretty sweet. I also snagged a blender and some cash. Hells yeah.

Taking Performancing out for a spin

2005-12-21T16:36:00.000-06:00

I'm composing this post via Performancing, a FireFox extension that allows the user to post straight from a window that slides up from the bottom of Firefox. It looks to be compatible with Blogger, TypePad, LiveJournal, Movable Type, all the biggies.

It looks pretty slick, and has all the standard WYSIWYG buttons, so I can do stuff like bold, italics, underlining, text color, different font sizes, blockquotes, and links.

The only thing I'd add is a broader selection of buttons. Give me things like strikethrough and table creation.

Don't bother ringin' it up; it's for a duck

2005-12-19T11:25:00.000-06:00

Kudos to the lovely and talented Anne Linehan, who hooked me -- and a whole bunch of fellow conservative Houston bloggers -- up with free food at Wolfgang Puck Express this weekend. It was nice to catch up with everyone: Anne's husband and rugrats, Evan, Sedosi, Kevin and Callie, Chris and Christy Elam, and the Rorschach family. It was nice to prove to everyone that Diane is actually a real person, despite what Callie may think. WP Express is a combination fast-food/sit-down experience, sort of like Cafe Express. The menu features salads, pizzas, sandwiches, pasta dishes, etc., in addition to beer and wine. This was a brand-new store, in the Town Center area of Sugar Land, and Saturday's meal was a dry run, which gets the staff trained and broken in before paying customers arrive. It's a win-win scenario: realistic training for the waiters and cooks, and free food for Matt. I had the meatloaf, which was served atop a bed of deliciously creamy, garlicky mashed potatoes, with a side of grilled veggies. The meatloaf was delicious. I have to agree with Rorschach:

And I have to tell you, meatloaf is not normally one of my favorite foods, but this stuff you'd loose a finger if you tried to take it away from me.

Pretty much. Diane had a chicken pesto sandwich, which was really good. Overall, a great place with very friendly service. And it was free. Hells yeah.

Third leg

2005-12-16T21:45:00.000-06:00

Gmail's spam filters are generally very, very good. My Gmail account is about 18 months old, and I use it for everything, so the address is floating around who-knows-how-many mailing lists. Regardless, I get a spam message maybe a couple times a month. Which is why I was suprised that Gmail didn't catch the latest chunk of spam, which included this subtle little tip:

Enlarge your penis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!

Apparently the people at TequilaSpecialist.com are either sorely misinformed about me, or have allowed their mail servers to be hijacked.

Fun with Google search results

2005-12-15T19:09:00.000-06:00

Y'all have found my little chunk of the Internet by using the following terms:

chuck norris jokes hurricane
free pornographic videos
youth hockey massachusetts blog
tookus
women chest hair
blog of the islamic revolution

And of course, the ever popular:

sluts for hire

At least I won't be pigeonholed.

I didn't know that!

2005-12-06T16:25:00.000-06:00

Fun facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.

And a whole lot more.

Nuclear holocaust? Bring it on!

2005-12-05T19:28:00.000-06:00

During hurricane season, I kept putting off buying supplies. The stores were nuts, and I'm just not a big fan of navigating all that crap. But today I figured now's as a good a time as any to actualize the Boy Scout Motto. So I embarked on a Mattsapundit Emergency Management Agency trek to my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart, where I grabbed a big plastic tub, and rolled through the aisles, shoveling in items that might prove useful during the aftermath of a hurricane/flood/nuclear exchange/Detroit Pistons victory celebration.

Food: -Spam (for optimal sodium levels) -Fruit, canned (so I don't get the scurvy) -Chili (it's still Texas, even if it's post-apocalyptic Texas) -Stew (just like Mama used to make, before she was vaporized) -Peanuts, canned (high-energy salty goodness) -Pudding, vanilla (because chocolate pudding sucks) -Soup, chicken noodle (in case I have a post-apocalyptic cold) Water: -Spring, three gallons (nothing but the best) Tools & Stuff: -Knife -Twine (for tying stuff) -Rope, nylon (for field-expedient administration of justice) -Tape, duct (for miscellaneous taping and hostage-silencing uses) -Flashlight (for when the post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland isn't glowing brightly) -Batteries (I know damn well how shitty CenterPoint is, even in pre-apocalyptic situations) -Ammunition, .22 and .40S&W (for dealing with varmints, looters and uncooperative insurance claims adjusters) -Gasoline, five gallons (for fueling Mattsapundit Mobile Command and burning the bodies of those lucky enough to have been killed in The Incident) -Openers, can and bottle -Pens and paper -Marker, Sharpie -Camera, disposable (for filling up the post-post-apocalyptic photo album) First Aid and Toiletries: -Band-Aids (for boo-boos) -Gauze (for more serious wounds) -Bandage, ace (for the inevitable post-apocalyptic sprains and strains) -BC Headache Powder (which cures everything) -Pepto-Bismol (for the dystentery likely to set in since I didn't buy enough water) -Peroxide, hydrogen (in case my wounds don't sting enough) -Soap, dish (for removing tough, baked-on radioactive grease) -Soap, people (ditto) -Toothbrush and toothpaste (for a gleaming, minty fresh post-apocalyptic smile) -Bleach (for...um...I really have no idea) -Trash bags, plastic

I realize that I've left off some things, which I've listed below:

-Battery-operated radio (for listening to the post-apocalyptic Dan Patrick Show) -Waterproof pouch for important documents -Beer -Tarp

I'm sure there are also things I don't realize I need (the "unknown unknowns," as Rummy would say) Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Haikus for Centerpoint Energy

2005-11-30T05:07:00.000-06:00

It happened again The electrons stopped flowing Vengeance will be mine

Turn the juice back on You dumbass jerkoff shitheads It's cold and it's dark

Centerpoint tells me "It's probably just a fuse" You call that service?

2005-11-30T04:29:00.000-06:00

Gobble gobble gobble

2005-11-24T12:46:00.000-06:00

Happy Thansgiving from all of us at Mattsapundit Central Command. Stay tuned, folks. Remember those changes I promised y'all a little while ago? They're coming, and from what I've seen so far, they're going to be pretty sweet.

AP issues alarmist story on detainees

2005-11-16T14:48:00.000-06:00

Put on your Fisking caps, kids. This AP dispatch is just plain goofy:

The United States has detained more than 83,000 foreigners in the four years of the war on terror, enough to nearly fill the NFL's largest stadium.

Split infinitive aside, what's with that comparison? Why use a football stadium? Why not say "laid end to end, they would reach from New York to Mecca" or "Ground into a fine paste, they could pave 450 acres of parking lots?"

The number has steadily grown since the first CIA paramilitary officers touched down in Afghanistan in the fall of 2001, setting up more than 20 facilities including the "Salt Pit," an abandoned factory outside Kabul used for CIA detention and interrogation.

What's the matter, AP? You won't give us the freakin' address of the formerly-secret national security facility? And that's just the beginning of this story, which apparently seeks to prove the monkey/typewriter hypothesis.

Some 82,400 people have been detained by the military alone in Afghanistan and Iraq, according to figures from officials in Baghdad and Washington.

Earlier, the story attributes the increase to CIA involvement. Now the reporterette is saying that the CIA is only responsible for about 600 of the 83,000 detainees. It's likely that neither one of those explanations is correct, and they're both symptomatic of lazy reporting and unfamiliarity with arithmetic.

The detentions and interrogations have brought complaints from Congress and human-rights groups about how the detainees - often Arab and male - are treated.

Often male and Arab? Since when do AP writers stand up for the rights of the ruling majority?

Some 82,400 people have been detained by the military alone in Afghanistan and Iraq, according to figures from officials in Baghdad and Washington. Many are freed shortly after initial questioning.To put that in context, the capacity of the Washington Redskins' FedEx Field, the NFL's largest, is 91,704. The second largest, Giants Stadium, holds 80,242.

To put that in further context, these guys want to blow up EVERY NFL stadium.

In Iraq, the Defense Department says 5,569 detainees have been held for more than six months, and 3,801 have been held more than a year. Some 229 have been locked up for more than two years.

I have no idea why that passage was buried deeper in the story than the capacity of Giants Stadium.

Pentagon officials say those mistreated are relatively few when the sheer numbers are considered.

Last week, Senate Armed Services Chairman John Warner, R-Va., said that more than 400 criminal investigations have been conducted and 95 military personnel have been charged with misconduct.

400 investigations out of 83,000 prisoners. That's not "relatively few." That's less than one-half of one percent.

Through the CIA, a much smaller prison population is maintained secretly by the agency and friendly governments.

Was. WAS maintained secretly. Thanks, AP!

The agency consistently declines to comment.

That's because it's the CIA. Unlike the AP, intelligence agencies are there to protect national secrets, not spray them all over the newspapers.

Among them, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, an alleged mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.

That one isn't even a complete sentence.

Terrorists declare intent to conquer world for Islam

2005-11-14T15:46:00.000-06:00

At least they're being honest:

One of the radical groups operating on the Temple Mount is Hizab Altahrir (The Islamic Liberation Party), which espouses an ideology similar to Al Qaeda. Hizab Altahrir’s network spans most Western European countries.

A senior party activist in Jerusalem, Sheikh Issam Amira, expressed this philosophy in a recent speech which he made on the Temple Mount: “Listeners! The Moslems in Denmark make up three percent [of the population], yet constitute a threat to the future of the Danish kingdom. It’s no surprise that in Bitrab (the ancient name of Medina, a city in Arabia to which Mohammed immigrated) they were fewer than three percent of the general population, but succeeded changing the regime in Bitrab. “It’s no surprise that our brothers in Denmark have succeeded in bringing Islam to every home in that country. Allah will grant us victory in their land to establish the [Islamic] revolution in Denmark.”

Sheikh Riyad Salah, head of the Islamic movement in Israel has also been active teaching the tenets of “Islamic revolution.” “We are at the gates of the Islamic revolution,” he proclaims in his sermons to Arab citizens of Israel. “The global forces of evil will be eliminated from the world and the Islamic nation will remain in place in order to bring about the world Islamic revolution, with its capital, Jerusalem.”

What's the timeframe for all this? Pretty soon:

The youth were greeted by party members who shouted, “Next year in Jerusalem, under the rule of the Islamic revolution.”

Please explain to me why these animals deserve a state.

[Hat-tip: Jihad Watch]

Gore: Warming more serious than terrorism

2005-11-14T14:13:00.000-06:00

Al Gore recently took time out of his busy day to remind America how lucky we are that he's not president:

"What changed in the US with hurricane Katrina was a feeling that we have entered a period of consequences and that bitter cup will be offered to us again and again until we exert our moral authority and respond appropriately," he says. "I don't want to diminish the threat of terrorism at all, it is extremely serious, but on a long-term global basis, global warming is the most serious problem we are facing."

Al? You there, buddy? Pay very close attention. Let's assume, just for a moment, that "global warming" is real, and it is a man-made phenomenon. U.S.-style global warming looks like this:

Yay!

Al-Qaeda-style global warming looks like this:

Boo!

Comprende?

From the 'Glad It Wasn't Me' File

2005-11-14T12:38:00.000-06:00

This just might be the most screwed-up story of the day:

Thai police are warning tourists of a new scam. Members of a Thai transvestite gang have confessed to hiding strong sedatives in their mouths and spitting them down the throats of victims during deep kissing. Then they rob the drugged tourists. The confession came from three attractive transvestites arrested in Bangkok last week. Police say they'd robbed a Bangladeshi businessman of more than $7,300 in cash and valuables. Police say the victim told investigators he met the transvestites in a bar and invited them all back to his apartment. After kissing one, he said he felt dizzy and passed out. When he woke up, his cash, watch, mobile phone and notebook computer were gone.

I know I say this all the time, but apparently some people don't listen, so I'll say it again: DO NOT KISS YOUR THAI TRANSVESTITE HOOKER ON THE MOUTH.

BENZION ADDS-- You will recall that those very words are printed at the top of Page 2 in the LoneStarTimes.com employee manual. Which is one of the many reasons we've been able to keep our health-care costs so low.

Does anyone read this stuff before press time?

2005-11-11T13:51:00.000-06:00

The Chron's house editorial displays a stunningly good (for the Chron editors) understanding of economics. At least at the beginning. Unfortunately, the wheels fall off near the end, when the editorial board makes its recommendation about how Big EEEEVIL Oil can best help hurricane victims:

Houston's safety net for the neediest residents is torn and stressed — by curbs on federal and state spending and by eroded corporate giving. Now is the time for energy companies, whose profits derive from high prices that many residents can ill-afford, to meet the high post-hurricane social needs by increasing the level of their giving.

Okay, I'm listening. How, Oh Mighty Editorial Olympians, should oil companies help the downtrodden in the aftermath of Katrina?

Houston's fine arts organizations have had to tighten their belts in recent years as corporate support declined. Some, whose loss would be calamitous for a city with global ambitions, are struggling to survive. Flush energy companies have an opportunity to make up lost ground through endowments and operational funding. One way would be to subsidize the museum, theater and concert attendance of low-income families, whose members are in sore need of the inspiration and catharsis the fine arts supply.

Are these guys freaking kidding? Just about everything in that paragraph is dead wrong. Let's analyze it, sentence by sentence:

Houston's fine arts organizations have had to tighten their belts in recent years as corporate support declined.

That's crap. As the Chronicle reported in February, the Museum of Fine Arts got the biggest donation ever made to an art museum. Meanwhile, the Houston Grand Opera described its latest fundraising campaign as a "stunning success."

Some, whose loss would be calamitous for a city with global ambitions, are struggling to survive.

I guess the editors got tired of the phrase "world-class."

Flush energy companies have an opportunity to make up lost ground through endowments and operational funding.

They already do that, more than any other industry. Take a look at the donor list of any arts instutition, and its a veritable Who's Who of the Houston energy sector.

One way would be to subsidize the museum, theater and concert attendance of low-income families, whose members are in sore need of the inspiration and catharsis the fine arts supply.

How out of touch can you get? Find a low-income family who fled to Houston from Hurricane Katrina, and ask them what they need to get back on their feet. I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that artistic catharsis doesn't crack the Top 100.

So screwed up on so many different levels...

2005-11-11T11:08:00.000-06:00

I'm dumbfounded:

Don't let the antics of the pathetically delusional Mary Mapes distract you from the lunatics who haven't yet been canned from the network that gave us both the tinfoil-hat–wearing Walter Cronkite and the propagandizing buffoon known simply as the Dan. NewsBusters reports on a milestone in tastelessness achieved by Bruce Rheins, the producer behind CBS's coverage of the Michael Jackson trial, who has marketed a wine under the brand "Jesus Juice." The logo apparently represents a cross between Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.
As you'll recall, "Jesus Juice" is allegedly what the King of Pop called the wine he plied little kids with before raping them.
Rheins' wife got the marketing campaign running while Jackson's child molestation case was still in court. They made Jesus Juice t-shirts and other items too. As NewsBusters observes:

Rheins's marketing of Jesus Juice wine (and apparel) raises some troubling journalistic issues since he was attempting to profit from a story which he was personally covering for the "CBS Evening News."

Romney backs off from Klan joke

2005-11-11T10:10:00.000-06:00

This is just dumb all around:

Republican Gov. Mitt Romney was introduced as head of a state run by the "KKK ... the Kerry, Kennedy Klan" before a speech Thursday in Washington, words that sparked criticism from Massachusetts Democrats and a rebuke from Romney himself.
"It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan," Romney said in a phone interview from Washington after his luncheon address to the Federalist Society.
Romney branded the remarks "ill-advised" and "inappropriate."
Romney laughed along with the audience, The Boston Globe reported in a story for Friday's edition, and thanked the speaker for "a very generous introduction."

State Democratic Party chairman Phil Johnston, who has criticized Romney for making Massachusetts the butt of jokes as a liberal bastion during his out-of-state travel as he considers a run for president, said he was outraged that Romney could find any humor in the remarks referring to Sens. Edward Kennedy and John Kerry invoking the KKK.

Johnston is absolutely right. How dare this guy compare Massachusetts Democrats to the KKK? That dubious distinction goes to a certain West Virginia Democrat:

"Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds." --Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)

Vets to be honored at Aeros game

2005-11-11T09:41:00.000-06:00

Thanks to ubertipster Byron for passing this one along. This is an email from Tom Stallings of the Houston Aeros:

We have our veteran's day celebration [tonight] and are hosting any active duty or reserve serviceman at our game [tonight] thanks to season ticket holder and sponsor donations. We currently have filled all requests for tickets that we know of, but have additional season ticket holders wishing to contribute. Do you know any current or distinguished retired service members who would like to attend the game [tonight] at no charge? We will be saluting veterans throughout the game.

If you know of any vet who deserves to see a free hockey game, drop Tom a line at tstallings@aeros.com.

Veterans put on parade in Downtown Houston

2005-11-11T09:23:00.000-06:00

If you've got the day off, why not head downtown? Sure, you'll have to dodge panhandlers and MetroRail killing machines, but you'll also get a chance to honor Houston-area veterans:

On Friday, November 11, 2005, Mayor Bill White and the City of Houston will show support of the Armed Forces as we celebrate the 7th Annual Houston Salutes American Heroes Veteran’s Day Commemoration and Parade. We anticipate that thousands of members of the Houston-area military and veterans organizations will participate in the event to honor those who served our country. Commemoration at 10 a.m. in front of City Hall, parade at 11:30 a.m.

The parade will start at the corner of Smith and Texas. The Chron has a map.

It's Veterans Day!

2005-11-11T09:14:00.000-06:00

In honor of Veteran's Day, allow me to quote from one of the great moments in American cinematic history:

We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans! With a capital A, huh?

There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us. We're soldiers!
But we're American soldiers! We've been kicking ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1!

There are a lot of things I like about writing for LST. But my favorite thing is this: I don't have to write it in Spanish, German, Japanese, Russian or Arabic. Thanks, vets, from all of us at Mattsapundit. Happy Veterans Day!

'Here's health to you and to our Corps...'

2005-11-10T10:57:00.000-06:00

Today marks the 230th birthday of the United States Marine Corps.

On this date in 1775, the Continental Congress authorized the first units of Marines, who quickly got busy in the tyranny-overthrow business. They've been the industry leader ever since.

In 1921, Maj. Gen. John A. Lejeune, Commandant of the Marine Corps, issued Order No. 47, which is read to every Marine unit worldwide on November 10:

The following will be read to the command on the 10th of November, 1921, and hereafter on the 10th of November every year. Should the order not be received by the 10th of November, 1921, it will be read upon receipt. (1) On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date many thousand men have borne the name "Marine." In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history. (2) The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world's history. During 90 of the 146 years of its existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the Nation's foes. From the Battle of Trenton to the Argonne, Marines have won foremost honors in war, and in the long eras of tranquility at home, generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas, that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security. (3) In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps, Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term "Marine" has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue. (4) This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who have preceded us in the Corps. With it we have also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our Nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as "Soldiers of the Sea" since the founding of the Corps.

Happy birthday, Marines!

CNN: Muslim rioters are 'African-American'

2005-11-10T03:13:00.000-06:00

Jack Kelly over at Irish Pennants nails it:

CNN's Carol Linn is an idiot She described the two Muslim teenagers whose accidental electrocution Oct. 27th ignited the rioting in France as "African-Americans."

"It's been 11 days since two African-American teenagers were killed, electrocuted during a police chase, which prompted all of this."--CNN anchorman Carol Lin, Nov. 6

Note to CNN: Words mean things. Write that down.

Canadian psych hospital promotes patient sex

2005-11-08T14:01:00.000-06:00

Remember all those Hollywood crazies who threatened to move to Canada if Bush won re-election? Well, maybe they were on to something:

A psychiatric hospital in Quebec has initiated a program to facilitate patient's sexual relations, by providing them with private rooms equipped with beds, television, and on-demand pornographic videos and magazines. LifeSiteNews.com spoke with University of Laval-associated Centre Hospitalier Robert-Giffard's director of communications, Catherine Lassard, who confirmed the program, emphasizing it was a hospital-initiated measure. The trial run will allow 60 patients access to the program and if successful, be made available to all 700 residents in six months time. Nicole-Gagnon, the hospital's ombudswoman and the person responsible for the program, told the Toronto Sun that "By facilitating patients' sexual relations, we want to make sex a positive rather than a negative experience."

Yeah, free on-demand porn and sex with fellow crazy people. That oughta cure 'em.

[Hat-tip: Relapsed Catholic]

Matthew F. Bramanti's Rules to Live By, #277

2005-11-08T13:42:00.000-06:00

Any piece of content that includes the phrase "Louisville fuckin' Slugger" has a very, very good chance of not sucking.

China convicts 3 for printing Bibles

2005-11-08T12:44:00.000-06:00

This is sickening:

A Chinese court on Tuesday sentenced a Protestant minister, his wife and her brother to prison terms of up to three years for illegally printing Bibles and other Christian publications, one of their lawyers said. The conviction of house church minister Cai Zhuohua, 34, and his family by the Beijing People's Intermediate Court came days before U.S. President George W. Bush arrives for a state visit.

It's sad what the Chinese government pushes people to:

A fourth defendant, Hu Jinyun, Xiao Gaowen's wife, was exempted from criminal punishment on charges of "secretly storing illegal goods" because she made contributions by informing against her sister-in-law, the lawyer quoted the verdict as saying.

Here's my favorite part, though:

The prosecutor, in the bill of indictment, accused the defendants of illegally printing 200,000 copies of the Bible which were found in Cai's warehouse but the verdict did not mention a figure. In July, Hong Kong's Beijing-funded Ta Kung Pao newspaper quoted Ye Xiaowen, director of the State Bureau of Religious Affairs, as saying Cai illegally printed 40 million copies of the Bible and other Christian publications.

So the guy was able to subvert the Chinese with 99.5% success. Sweet.

Election 2005: VOTE!

2005-11-07T17:00:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is Election Day. Whether you're a school-lunch-slashing, puppy-stomping conservative reactionary or an America-hating, granola-munching bleeding-heart liberal, this is when it counts.

Click on the proper county to find your polling place:

Vote!

Vatican official defends evolution theory

2005-11-07T16:09:00.000-06:00

In the whole debate over evolution vs. creation, a third possibility has been widely overlooked: the notion that they're not mutually exclusive. It's always seemed perfectly plausible to me that God may have set evolution in motion, knowing where it would end up. Or maybe He gave evolution little divine nudges over millions of years.

I've just never bought into the idea that either evolution or "poof"-style creation tells the whole story. Rome isn't buying it either:

The Vatican has issued a stout defence of Charles Darwin, voicing strong criticism of Christian fundamentalists who reject his theory of evolution and interpret the biblical account of creation literally. Cardinal Paul Poupard, head of the Pontifical Council for Culture, said the Genesis description of how God created the universe and Darwin's theory of evolution were "perfectly compatible" if the Bible were read correctly.

"The fundamentalists want to give a scientific meaning to words that had no scientific aim," he said at a Vatican press conference. He said the real message in Genesis was that "the universe didn't make itself and had a creator". This idea was part of theology, Cardinal Poupard emphasised, while the precise details of how creation and the development of the species came about belonged to a different realm - science. Cardinal Poupard said that it was important for Catholic believers to know how science saw things so as to "understand things better".

Catholic readers might want to take a look at Fides et Ratio, Pope John Paul II's 1998 encyclical dealing with the relationship between faith and reason.

Numa Numa Redux and much, much more

2005-11-04T16:46:00.000-06:00

Fans of LST will recall that we've closely followed the Numa Numa Saga as it progressed from Internet novelty to mainstream pop culture to Edd Hendee's morning show. Well we're still on the ball, closely monitoring the Internet's disturbingly prolific dancing scene. Here are the late-breaking developments:

More Numa, bird flu-style, thanks to an anonymous tip from Squawkbox.
Two Chinese Backstreet Boys, via MeMo.
Officer down! Well, officer getting down, anyway.

Have a good weekend, folks.

Dangerous killer still on the loose

2005-11-04T15:22:00.000-06:00

ESCAPED.

Sorry I haven't gotten to this before now, but there's an escaped murderer on the streets, and he has nothing to lose:

Authorities continued to scour downtown Houston and the surrounding areas late Thursday for a death row convict who used a fake badge and a change of clothes to walk out of the Harris County Jail's Baker Street facility. Charles Victor Thompson, 35, convicted in the shooting deaths of his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend in 1998, escaped about 3:30 p.m. while being held inside the high-security J Pod unit at the County Jail at 1200 Baker, officials said. Thompson, described as 5' 11" and weighing approximately 230 pounds, was last seen wearing a dark blue shirt, khaki pants and white tennis shoes. Sheriff's officials said Thompson may be in a gray-colored 2003 Nissan Frontier truck with Texas license plate 8WLX62. The truck is listed in an online database of motor vehicle records as belonging to his father, Stephen R. Thompson III, 59, of Tomball.

He's also got a hit list. On a completely unrelated note, I found a sweet "intelligent bullet" the other day.

VodkaPundit nails it: 'Boobs and bombs'

2005-11-04T14:53:00.000-06:00

Steven Green of VodkaPundit points out a story in the Sacramento Bee:

Mendocino County women who have been baring their breasts at various venues to protest the war in Iraq are in Sacramento federal court seeking an order prohibiting the California Highway Patrol from arresting them during a planned noon demonstration Monday at the Capitol.

The women's group, Breasts Not Bombs, is suing CHP Commissioner Mike Brown and two of his officers over a warning that if the women demonstrate while topless, they will be arrested and charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.

And now for some VodkaPunditry:

Seriously, though, the police need to cool it - and the women need a buy a clue. If they wonder why a misogynist culture wants to blow up Americans, maybe someday they'll understand that protests like these are part of the reason.

Me, I'm a big fan of breasts. Which is why the answer is and must be "boobs and bombs."

Amen.

Is Castro buying off Latin America?

2005-11-04T14:23:00.000-06:00

It looks like Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is trying to buy off Latin American democracies and convert them into fellow socialist paradises, according to Investor's Business Daily:

Brazilians are rightly angry over allegations of illegal campaign donations from Fidel Castro. True or not, they coincide with an alarming weakness in foreign policy that benefits the Cuban dictator. Was there a connection? We wonder for two reasons. First, Castro in recent years has aggressively sought influence across Latin America on a scale not seen since the 1960s. Second, Brazil has been oddly passive in response.

We've already noted how Castro has cranked up pork-barrel spending in Brazil's neighbor, Bolivia, in the heat of its own presidential campaign. The largess is conditioned on votes for Castro's favored candidate, Evo Morales, who wants to nationalize Bolivia's energy. If Morales wins, the biggest victim of his expropriations will be Brazil's state oil firm, Petrobras, which supplies a major part of Brazil's economic powerhouse, the Sao Paulo region, with natural gas. Petrobras' investment is so large it makes up 20% of Bolivia's economy.

With its interests threatened, Brazil should have the diplomatic muscle to force Castro and his allies to back off. But for some reason, it's held back, choosing silence when what's required is leadership.

I know we've got some astute oil types and risk-analyst types in the crowd. What do y'all think? I know this sounds scary, but how plausible is it?

[Hat-tip: Byron]

Gimme gimme gimme!

2005-11-04T13:59:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I just came across an amazingly great t-shirt that y'all desperately need to ~~see~~ buy for me:

He kinda looks like Benzion.

Here's the text:

Oh hell yes. Anyone who would like to reward my long hours, hard work and single-minded diligence on behalf of the voiceless, feel free to email me. In addition to t-shirts, I also accept alcohol, tobacco and firearms.

GOP discusses major immigration reform

2005-11-04T13:50:00.000-06:00

This is pretty huge:

House Republicans are looking closely at ending birthright citizenship and building a barrier along the entire U.S.-Mexico border as they search for solutions to illegal immigration.

"There is a general agreement about the fact that citizenship in this country should not be bestowed on people who are the children of folks who come into this country illegally," said Rep. Tom Tancredo, Colorado Republican, who is participating in the "unity dinners," the group of Republicans trying to find consensus on immigration.

Amen to that! However, they're going to try and change this by statute. Seems to me that the 14th amendment is pretty clear:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States

But we're still -- unfortunately -- in the very early stages of this debate, so we'll see how it pans out. Meanwhile, Republicans are also kicking around the idea of a border fence or other barrier:

At this week's "unity dinner," House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert, Illinois Republican, said he supports a barrier system of fences in some places and electronic surveillance or vehicle barriers in others, one participant said. Mr. Hastert's spokesman said the speaker would not talk about the private meetings.

Come on, Mr. Speaker! This is the kind of bold initiative that Republican voters want! They don't want to see wishy-washy "we'll look into it" proposals. They want decisive action! At least put a mention about the idea on your little blog!

Chirac sounds off on Muslim violence in France

2005-11-04T11:36:00.000-06:00

Let's hear from French president Jacques Chirac on the Muslim punks who are hard at work burning Paris:

"Please, stop zee violence! We surrendare!"

Thanks, Jacques.

Chron reports on oil profit debate

2005-11-03T15:36:00.000-06:00

Heaven knows that Mattsapundit personnel rip on the Chronicle now and then, but we also like to point out when they get something right, and this is one of those times.

In a business piece about oil company profits, our beloved hometown rag provided a pretty good balance:

Exxon Mobil Corp. alone rang up a $9.9 billion profit. Whether Exxon and its competitors will be able to persuade the public their earnings aren't really so huge remains to be seen. "You make nearly $10 billion in a quarter, and you're making more than number of Fortune 500 companies put together," noted Ed Rothschild, a longtime energy industry critic in Washington.

The story then turns to Exxon Mobil's point:

For their part, the oil companies have been trying to make the case their earnings aren't out of line. Exxon Mobil has taken out ads in major daily newspapers comparing oil and gas company earnings with other sectors. An ad headline "Oil and Apples," features a chart that shows pharmaceutical companies, banks, software firms and tobacco giants all earning more pennies on the dollar than energy companies. The ad shows energy companies earning 7.7 cents per dollar of revenue, and Exxon Mobil 8.6 cents, versus 7.9 cents for U.S. industry overall. With "a true 'apples to apples' evaluation — you see that oil earnings are not out of step with other major industries," the ad reads.

How about that?

Michael Moore owns Halliburton shares

2005-11-03T12:55:00.000-06:00

This one pegged my Hypocritical-Scumbag-O-Meter:

I don't own a single share of stock!" filmmaker Michael Moore proudly proclaimed. He's right. He doesn't own a single share. He owns tens of thousands of shares – including nearly 2,000 shares of Boeing, nearly 1,000 of Sonoco, more than 4,000 of Best Foods, more than 3,000 of Eli Lilly, more than 8,000 of Bank One and more than 2,000 of Halliburton, the company most vilified by Moore in "Fahrenheit 9/11."

Silly me. I thought he invested all his money in Twinkies. [Hat-tip: Relapsed Catholic]

9th Circuit rules for schools, against parents

2005-11-03T12:47:00.000-06:00

Hey there, Mr. and Mrs. MattsapunditReader and Parent of Impressionable Children! Would you have a problem if an agent of local government mandated that your first-grader take a psychological quiz to find out about his sexual activities? Tough! The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has issued its latest in a long series of disturbing rulings, saying that parents have no right to keep public schools from discussing masturbation with six-year-olds:

Parents' rights were not violated when a Southern California elementary school conducted a psychological survey of their children and asked them about sexual feelings and masturbation, a federal appeals court ruled Wednesday.

"Parents have a right to inform their children when and as they wish on the subject of sex,'' said Judge Stephen Reinhardt in the 3-0 ruling. "They have no constitutional right, however, to prevent a public school from providing its students with whatever information it wishes to provide, sexual or otherwise.''

I'll leave it to LST's resident legal eagles to dissect the legal ramifications of this case, but it doesn't look good. The list of Catholic schools' advantages over government schools gets longer and longer every day. [Hat-tip: The Everlasting Phelps]

Wall of boobs to help confused bra shoppers

2005-11-03T12:25:00.000-06:00

I just can't resist a story containing the words "wall of fake breasts":

A Dutch designer has created a wall of fake breasts to help male shoppers buy bras that fit their wives or girlfriends. Wendy Rameckers works at the Piet Zwart Institute for Retail and Design in Rotterdam, reports Het Nieuwsblad. "Most men have a selective memory," she explained. "They know all about their car, but never seem to know their wife's bra size. "When trying to buy a sexy bra for their wife or girlfriend, usually they point to other women in the shop or, when asked about size, they say a 'handful'." The wall consists of rows of silicon breasts in all sizes. By look and touch, male shoppers can work out the right size, she says.

Huh huh. Huh huh huh.

House votes to regulate Internet speech

2005-11-03T02:49:00.000-06:00

Remember that pesky First Amendment? It's understandable if you've forgotton. Here's my favorite part:

Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press

Unfortunately, annoying little things like the Constitution didn't stop the House from...well, making a law abridging the freedom of speech:

The House voted 225-182 for a bill that would have excluded blogs, e-mails and other Internet communications from regulation by the Federal Election Commission. That was 47 votes short of the two-thirds majority needed under a procedure that limited debate time and allowed no amendments. The vote in effect clears the way for the FEC to move ahead with court-mandated rule-making to govern political speech and campaign spending on the Internet.

At least we've got a Texan on our side -- Rep. Jeb Hensarling, who represents part of the D-FW metroplex:

"The newest battlefield in the fight to protect the First Amendment is the Internet," he said. "The Internet is the new town square, and campaign finance regulations are not appropriate there." Without his legislation, Hensarling said, "I fear that bloggers one day could be fined for improperly linking to a campaign Web site, or merely forwarding a candidate's press release to an e-mail list."

The bill is HR 1601. Make sure to include that bill number on your placards when you descend on Washington in a marauding horn. Also, the phrase "Keep your filthy hooves off Mattsapundit" would be good. Make sure the cameras see it.

Casey breezes through USMC marathon

2005-11-02T02:31:00.000-06:00

Cpl. Casey Owens, Superstud.

As anyone who listens to Edd Hendee knows, Marine Cpl. Casey Owens is near and dear to the KSEV, Lone Star Times and Mattsapundit families. For those of you who don't know, the man -- a Houstonian -- is a living miracle. After 9/11, he left college to join the Marine Corps. Last fall, while on a mission to rescue a wounded comrade, Casey's Humvee hit a mine, peppering the young Marine with shrapnel, breaking his jaw and collarbone and shattering both legs, which later had to be amputated. Since then, the guy's been a nonstop dynamo. Over the weekend, he ran a marathon in just over two and a half hours. With his freakin' HANDS:

Casey Owens completed his first marathon yesterday, which is always a tremendous accomplishment. But it was especially so for Owens, who just over a year ago was injured in an antitank mine explosion in Iraq. As he crossed the Marine Corps Marathon finish line, the 24-year-old Marine corporal from Houston was mobbed by well-wishers, including Marine Commandant Michael Hagee. "It went great," Owens said. "It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, a lot more enjoyable. I couldn't imagine a better marathon." Owens was the first Marine in a wheelchair to cross the finish line. Because he forgot to wear his timing chip, he did not receive an official time; however, he estimated that he finished in 2 hours 32 minutes. Not bad for a guy who hadn't used a handcrank chair until a month ago. "Pushing myself around in a wheelchair that was my training, and being a Marine," said Owens, who had his left leg amputated below his knee and his right leg amputated above his knee.

What's next for Casey? Well, apparently he's feeling pretty good about his prosthetic legs:

Owens, who has been rehabilitating at Walter Reed Military Hospital the past year, started walking about a month ago. He would like to run the marathon next year.

Is this guy human? Does anything faze him? Aha! He has a complaint about the race!

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be," Owens said. "It was too short. I got to Mile 20 and was like it's going to be over too soon."

WOW. It wouldn't suprise me if he tapdances blindfolded through next year's race while juggling Dumpsters. Casey, congratulations from Mattsapundit. You represent the very pinnacle of fortitude, persistence and cojones. You're a credit to your city, country and Corps, and we're all proud of you.

Drudge runs MoDo caption contest

2005-11-01T12:24:00.000-06:00

New York Times columnistette Maureen Dowd was quite pissy and lonely this weekend, as evidenced by her 5,000-word essay lamenting the fact that women are picking femininity over feminism. You know how emotional broads can be.

Matt Drudge, of flashy police light fame, responds with a MoDo caption contest. I'm stealing it and posting it here:

"You know what they say about guys with big feet..."

Leave your suggestions in the comments. Also, feel free to speculate on her cocktail of choice.

This is what we're up against

2005-11-01T11:50:00.000-06:00

This is what they do to 8-year-olds who steal bread in Iran. [WARNING: Disturbing photos.]

[Hat-tip: Lou Minatti]

Crusader pig says 'Don't be a Dhimmi!'

2005-11-01T11:30:00.000-06:00

Risawn has a brilliant idea for a t-shirt, sure to offend those who would impose Sharia on Western democracies:

Crusader pig!

Hopefully, she could print up stickers with scratch-and-sniff bacon flavoring. Mmm...

Like Dubya? You're a wife-beating, gun-toting nut!

2005-11-01T11:00:00.000-06:00

At least that's what Cragg Hines thinks. In today's column, the Chron political columnist tries to paint Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito as a far-right-wing wacko, while slapping the president's supporters with the same brush:

IF you like machine guns, you'll love Sam Alito.

Nice to know we're starting off with a good, healthy dose of rabid fear-mongering.

In upholding a restrictive Pennsylvania abortion law in 1991, even the increasingly conservative 3rd Circuit refused to go along with one of the legislatively approved provisions: to require a woman to notify her spouse, in almost all instances, before an abortion. To emphasize his position, Alito wrote a dissent to spell out his approval of the spousal-notice section. The Supreme Court said on review that the provision would impermissibly give a man "the kind of dominion over his wife that parents exercise over their children." So, all you women who want to be ordered about like the kids, sit down right now and urge your senator to get aboard the Alito bandwagon.

But what's that compared to a president's need to restore his political health with about the only constituency that's sticking with him amid a mounting death toll in Iraq, an energy crisis and the indictment of Republican chums Tom DeLay and Scooter Libby?

Got that? 43% of American adults are machine-gun-toting, spouse-stomping extremists. Probably racist, sexist, homophobic evangelical Christian supremicists, too. But at least those 43% don't print ethnic slurs in major metropolitan newspapers:

Alito, a rock star to conservatives who scuttled Bush's nomination of Harriet Miers, is so in the mold of Justice Antonin Scalia, Bush's archetype of a supposedly strict-constructionist justice, that he's known as "Scalito" � little Scalia or Scalia lite.

Study: Abortion waiting periods reduce suicides

2005-10-31T16:17:00.000-06:00

Well isn't this interesting:

Proponents of laws requiring a waiting period before a woman can receive an abortion argue that these cooling off periods protect against rash decisions on the part of women in the event of unplanned pregnancies. Opponents claim, at best, waiting periods have no effect on decision-making and, at worst, they subject women to additional mental anguish and stress. In this article, I examine these competing claims using adult female suicide rates at the state level as a proxy for mental health. Panel data analyses suggest that the adoption of mandatory waiting periods reduce suicide rates by about 10 percent, and this effect is statistically significant. The result is robust to various attempts to control for unobservable heterogeneity and simultaneity.

[Hat-tip: The Volokh Conspiracy]

Chron editor is too busy for customers

2005-10-31T14:22:00.000-06:00

As I've been reporting over the past couple months, Chron editor Jeff Cohen has been dodging questions from his customers. When I asked Chron reader representative James T. Campbell about it, he had this to say:

Well, since agreeing to do it, we've had two hurricanes and a World Series. I know he was close to finishing the questions I submitted to him but he got sidetracked by work.

I've got news for you, James: Keeping up good, honest relations with the people who keep you in business is work. It's certainly part of your job, and Cohen ought to consider it a big part of his job, too. It's not incredibly convincing to say "Gee, news got in the way." It's just bad business to promise something to your customers and fail to deliver. Besides, it's not like the questions were all that hard. Here's a smattering of the readers' inquiries:

Why doesn't the Chronicle have an on staff convervative columnist to balance liberal Casey?
why is it that the water level of the main river is never posted? Rio Grande River!!
Why is it that the majority of business stories are AP/syndicated and not about Houston or written by Chronicle writers?
Why don't you have someone in Iraq covering the war? Seems like a pretty Big Story.

See, those aren't too tough. Not a single math question in there. CORRECTION: The original headline misidentified Cohen as the Chron's publisher. Cohen is actually the editor and executive vice president. The real big enchilada is publisher Jack Sweeney. Sorry 'bout that, and thanks to Evil D. for setting me straight.

Islamists threaten Omar Sharif with death

2005-10-31T12:06:00.000-06:00

Sharif don't like it:

Death threats to the Egyptian-born actor Omar Sharif have appeared in Islamist forums on the Internet, after Sharif's appearance as a Christian, Saint Peter, in an Italian biblical epic for television. A threatening message from user 'bachirma1' on one of the forums used by jihadi groups linked to al-Qaeda, reads:"In my view Omar Sharif is an infidel - enter here". Inside it continues; "He is a crusader who offends Islam and Muslims and is applauded by the Italian people. I give you some advice, my brothers, you should kill him."

I recommend that all appropriate Casbah-rocking action commence immediately.

Happy Halloween from Mattsapundit

2005-10-31T11:23:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween, folks, from all of us at Mattsapundit Central Command. Time to scare the piss out of you. Look at this. Yikes.

Wes D got totally shot

2005-10-30T01:38:00.000-06:00

Wes D got totally shot down by a fairy chick. And yet, he 'don't give a damn.' What a weenie.

Speaker of the House starts blog

2005-10-28T13:04:00.000-05:00

After being stunned and impressed with the journalistic quality and unimpeachable integrity of Lone Star Times, the Speaker of the House of Representatives decided to take a shot at this whole blogging thing:

This is Denny Hastert and welcome to my blog. This is new to me. I can’t say I’m much of a techie.

You're kidding. Hastert goes on to attack those EEEVIL oil companies who dare to charge us $2.55 for an explosive product that's extracted from a two-mile-deep hole in a politically unstable country, shipped halfway around the world, taxed exorbitantly and run through a heavily regulated billion-dollar refinery:

Speaking of the Hurricane season, renewed attention has been brought to the way we refine gasoline in this country. Today, energy companies started reporting their 3rd quarter earnings, and while Americans paying were record prices at the pump, energy companies were making record profits. This is America. And Republicans don’t believe in punishing success.

You know what's coming next. The "But..." Monkey:

But what are these oil companies doing to bring down the cost of oil and natural gas?

Hastert, you're a Republican. Try rewording that statement with other commodities.

"But what are these farmers doing to bring down the cost of sugar?"
"But what are these lumber mills doing to bring down the cost of two-by-fours?"
"But what are these gold miners doing to bring down the cost of gold?"

The speaker ends by ~~threatening~~ promising to send us more pearls of wisdom:

I’m going to keep updating this from time to time. It’s not that bad.

Trust me, Denny, it was a lot worse from this end.

Tom DeLay sends letter to constituents

2005-10-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

Embattled former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Sugar Land) has sent a letter to thousands of his constituents and supporters in Fort Bend County. Here it is:

To the voters of District 22: It has been over a month since Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle acted out his political revenge and indicted me for crimes that don't exist. And over the last month, we have seen such a litany of prosecutorial misconduct that even the national media is questioning his motives. Look at who is studying this circus-like investigation and you'll see that journalists and legal experts are acknowledging these charges are baseless, partisan, and nothing more than revenge for my work to provide the people of Texas with a fair and constitutional congressional representation. I am being attacked not for doing anything wrong - I'm being attacked for being effective and standing up for what's right. I have had the honor of representing Fort Bend for over 20 years, and in that time I have always been truthful and forthright in everything from my positions on immigration and tax reform to my involvement in local politics. Not everyone agrees with my conservative brand of politics. My plainspoken style might ruffle feathers from time to time. But you always know where I stand, and I always stand up for what I believe. It's no secret that on top of the deep sense of responsibility I have for advancing the interests of this congressional district, I have also worked to help elect fellow Republicans. Without a unified team of conservative leaders, many of the remarkable changes we've seen in government would never have occurred. Without Republican majorities, we would never have ended a generational welfare system, reduced overbearing tax rates, or created an economic environment for small businesses to flourish. Because of their decade of defeat, Democrats have now dropped to the least common denominator - the politics of personal destruction. They held power in state and federal politics for so long, they can't fathom Republican control of elected offices. They simply don't understand that we win election after election because our ideas, our agenda, and our values are more representative of the voters and the American dream than theirs. And instead of re-evaluating their position on key issues like immigration, taxes, national security, and government spending, they have chosen a path of personal destruction. Look at the attacks thrown at our strong Republican leaders - Karl Rove, Senator Bill Frist, and especially President Bush - and it becomes quite apparent that liberals are trying to divert attention from their own political problems, so they try to turn the tables on us. They call us criminals. They demand investigations, file lawsuits, and mock-up mugshots. They say we should be serving time in jail, not in public office. But they still won't win. What we're fighting is so much larger than a single court case or a single District Attorney in Travis County. We are witnessing the criminalization of conservative politics. Here in Texas, we take our ideas and our ideals very seriously, and we fight for what we believe in. You have that right. I have that right. Ronnie Earle has that right. But these fights are meant to take place at the ballot box, not the jury box. Just because a rogue Democratic prosecutor doesn't agree with some political tactics doesn't make them illegal or even wrong. He has an opinion, but he doesn't make the law. Ronnie Earle is wrong on the facts. He's wrong on the law. And he has abused his position, the taxpayer dollars, and our justice system throughout this process. I've listed below just a few instances of Mr. Earle's misconduct (you can go to my website www.tomdelay.com for a more complete rundown and to sign up for e-mail updates): * Earle's indictments are based on non-existent laws, and non-existent documents. * Earle went to three grand juries in four business days in a desperate attempt to salvage his deteriorating case. * For two years, Ronnie Earle assisted in the filming of a documentary movie about Mr. Earle's planned prosecutorial efforts targeting me. * In May 2005, Earle used his investigation to raise $102,000 for a Democrats' PAC that was formed to take back the Texas State Legislature. * Past is prologue - In 1993, Ronnie Earle used his office to attack newly-elected Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison on baseless charges of misconduct. We have fought and won many battles together, united and determined in the justice of our cause - and we will fight and win many more. While they may have made me step aside for now, they can never make us stand down. That's why I am asking you to stand with me, fight these unjust attacks, and remember that while our victories may come at a price, they're always worth the fight. Sincerely, Tom DeLay Member of Congress

[Hat-tip: Chris Elam]

Official Mattsapundit Voting Guide

2005-10-26T16:59:00.000-05:00

Okay folks, I know you've been waiting for me to issue ~~marching orders~~ voting recommendations on the proposed amendments to the Texas Constitution. Here they are:

Proposition 1: Against. We don't need another government agency with the power to borrow money and give it to private companies.
Proposition 2: For. Texas must not become a laboratory for gay-rights activists eager to change social mores for the nation.
Proposition 3: Against. We must rein in "economic development grants" which can become little more than unpoliced giveaways to the politically connected.
Proposition 4: For. If you violate bail once, you shouldn't get it again.
Proposition 5: For. Commercial borrowers are big boys; they don't need the Legislature to protect them from themselves.
Proposition 6: For. Increased public oversight of the judiciary is just fine with me.
Proposition 7: For. If Grandma wants to borrow money, why should the state get in her way?
Proposition 8: Abstain. I don't even know, off the top of my head, where in the hell Smith or Upshur Counties are.
Proposition 9: Against. Longer terms for mobility board members would only make them even less accountable to the public than they currently are.

Feel free to print out your own copy of the Official Mattsapundit Voting Guide, make a few thousand copies, and hand them out to everyone in your precinct.

Mattsapundit: Guiding Our Democracy, So You Don't Have To.®

Why Houston is better than Dallas: Part 4,623

2005-10-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

We don't have poop-encrusted baked goods.

A Dallas cab driver is in big trouble for getting caught on tape sprinkling dried feces on pastries. 49-year-old Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh is on trial for allegedly throwing fecal matter on pastries at a Fiesta grocery store. Police said they found a pile of human feces by his bed. He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said.

What would Pepe the Parrot think?

HUGELY SHOCKING BREAKING NEWS FLASH

2005-10-26T12:03:00.000-05:00

A WNBA player is a lesbian.

[Hat-tip: The lovely, talented and straight Anne Linehan]

Cindy, don't tease me like that!

2005-10-26T11:25:00.000-05:00

She's gonna have a "die-in."

"I'll be laying down and not getting up," Sheehan said to a small crowd of protesters.

Where have I heard that before?

Hannity cold-cocks House Dem with sneak move

2005-10-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

This was pretty good. On Hannity and Colmes last night, Sean Hannity was talking with Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-NY):

HANNITY: I'm listening to what you're saying. So you're saying when the President told the nation that Saddam's nuclear threats are a real grave danger to America and Saddam's WMDs are a threat to America, you're saying that George W. Bush purposely lied to America? Is that what you're saying? HINCHEY: I'm saying whoever wrote that speech gave false information to the Congress. Whether or not the President knew it when he gave the speech, I'm not sure. Whoever wrote that speech certainly did. HANNITY: The only problem is, Congressman, the words I just said to you were John Kerry's words. John Kerry said that to America. You voted for John Kerry. Now I'll ask you, did John Kerry give false information to America? HINCHEY: John Kerry, I think, made a mistake and voted for the resolution — HANNITY: Oh, he made a mistake and Bush is a liar.

Heh. NRO's got the video.

USA Today adds demonic effect to Condi photo

2005-10-26T10:49:00.000-05:00

Michelle Malkin points out what is either a tacky or incompetent photo editing job. An AP photo of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is normal, but USA Today's version gives her really weird eyes:


Real Condi.	EEEVIL Condi.

Iranian president calls for destruction of Israel

2005-10-26T10:40:00.000-05:00

It turns out that the new president of Iran is a complete wacko. Big shocker, huh?

"Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation's fury, (while) any (Islamic leader) who recognizes the Zionist regime means he is acknowledging the surrender and defeat of the Islamic world," Ahmadinejad said. Ahmadinejad also repeated the words of the founder of Iran's Islamic revolution, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who called for the destruction of Israel. "As the imam said, Israel must be wiped off the map," said Ahmadinejad, who came to power in August and replaced Mohammad Khatami, a reformist who advocated international dialogue and tried to improve Iran's relations with the West.

Just in case you're curious what form the "fire of the Islamic nation's fury" will take, we're treated to this:

Iran announced earlier this year that it had fully developed solid fuel technology for missiles, a major breakthrough that increases their accuracy. The Shahab-3, with a range of 810 miles to 1,200 miles, is capable of delivering a nuclear warhead to Israel and U.S. forces in the Middle East.

Boy, it's a good thing Mohamed El-Baradei is doing such a great job keeping nukes out of the hands of crazies.

Maybe Cindy Sheehan isn't so bad after all

2005-10-25T15:05:00.000-05:00

Expect to see a lot less of Cindy Sheehan after this little episode:

Cindy Sheehan, who became the face of anti-war sentiment after her son died in Iraq, urged foes of the war to thwart Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's political aspirations unless the New York Democrat opposes the conflict. "I believe that any candidate who supports the war should not receive our support," Sheehan said Tuesday in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It doesn't matter if they're Senator Clinton or whoever."

"After she met with me, she said she has to make sure our sons didn't die in vain," Sheehan said. "That is a totally Republican talking point."

Bye, Cindy. It's been fun. Say hello to the Secret Service for me.

New 007 outs self as anti-gun weenie

2005-10-25T13:35:00.000-05:00

Do behave, 007:

Daniel Craig will have a problem playing the new James Bond - because he hates guns. The actor will wield 007's famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale. But he revealed in OK! magazine: "I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only stupid thing to appear in this story. You see, the reporter is also a complete moron:

Nor does the 37-year-old share Bond's love of Martinis shaken and stirred.

Congratulations, Evening Standard. You just screwed up one of the most famous lines in cinematic history:

Shaken, not stirred.

NOT stirred! NOT STIRRED!! By the way, Bond-style martinis are good for you. Take two and call me in the morning.

Fred Phelps caught praising London bombers

2005-10-25T13:27:00.000-05:00

Hopefully this guy will shut up now, but I wouldn't bet the ranch:

The Sky Report has secretly filmed one of America's most controversial Christian ministers praising the London bombings. Fred Phelps says that terrorist outrages and natural disasters such as Hurricane Rita are examples of God's wrath against countries such as America and Britain for tolerating homosexuals and homosexuality. Fred Phelps, who set up the controversial Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, told our undercover reporter about the attacks, which killed 52 people: "Oh I am so thankful that happened. My only regret is that they didn't kill about million of them. England deserves that kind of punishment, as does this country (America)". The church, which has 150 followers, recently started picketing funerals including those of American soldiers killed in Iraq, waving banners such as "Thank God 9/11", "God Hates Fags" and "Aids Cures Fags".

Maybe I'll print up a sign of my own. How about "God Hates Dumbasses?"

UK cops give candy, not tickets, to speeders

2005-10-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I told you about London's $8,000 traffic tickets. In North Worcestershire, they're going to the other extreme:

As part of a recruitment drive, North Worcestershire, UK police are handing out chocolates and balloons to speeders instead of tickets in the Wyre Forest district. "We hope it will encourage people to think not only about speed and road safety related issues but also about becoming a Special," North Worcestershire Specials Commandant Chris Cookson told the Express and Star. Specials are part-time volunteers who wear a uniform and carry full police powers while doing support work for paid police officers.

Those wacky limeys.

Rosa Parks, 1913-2005

2005-10-25T12:48:00.000-05:00

Bobby over at Progressive Texan pretty much sums it up:

I can't help but admire how one simple but fearless act helped to thrust the civil rights movement into the public spotlight.

Yep.

Ruthless fascist employers block access to blogs

2005-10-25T12:43:00.000-05:00

John Wagner, who blogs about PR and corporate communications, issues a dire warning:

Blogs are under attack! Apparently Corporate America believes that blogs are harmful to your health, so they're taking steps to protect you. First, from Ad Age (registration required) comes word that American workers will waste a lot of time reading blogs this year. Waste time? I thought we were all "knowledge workers?" Next, Wired magazine reports that lots of companies are using firewall software to block employee access to blogs.

Can you imagine the nerve? What reasonable employer would deny invaluable cutting-edge journalism to his staff?

Spike Lee claims Bush blew up NOLA levees

2005-10-25T12:42:00.000-05:00

I think this qualifies as the incoherent ramblings of a crazy man:

Spike Lee: "Exactly. It's not far-fetched. And also I would like to say it's not necessarily blow it up. But, the residents of that ward, they believe it, there was a Hurricane Betsy in '65, the same that happened where a choice had to be made, one neighborhood got to save another neighborhood and flood another 'hood, flood another neighborhood.

Lee: "Let me ask you a question: Do you think that election in 2000 was fair? You don't think that was rigged?" [audience applause] Martin: "It's not a question of not being fair, it's a question of-" Lee: "If they can rig an election, they can do anything!"

When asked about the levee conspiracy theory, which apparently has gained credence among some New Orleans blacks, Mr. Lee said that "it's not too far-fetched to think that, look, we got a bunch of poor black people here. We got to save these other neighborhoods. What we got to do, dump this in this ward, boom. I believe it." And when interviewer Daryn Kagan asked whether Mr. Lee really believed that theory, the director replied: "I don't put anything past the United States government."

Then again, what do you expect from a Knicks fan?

AstroWorld to close forever, after this weekend

2005-10-25T12:27:00.000-05:00

Six Flags AstroWorld will be no more after this weekend:

Come this Sunday, October 30th, Houston's Astroworld will close its gates for the final time. On Monday, October 31st, employees will be busy shuttering the park and prepping every ride and every attraction for dismantling. That's right, Houston... the era of summer fun that has been with us since 1968, has come to an end. Earlier this year, Six Flags, Inc, made the decision to close it's primary Houston park, Six Flag's Astroworld. Astroworld, which contains one of Houston's two main water parks, Waterworld, has provided millions (perhaps even billions) of Texans a place of summer fun for thirty-seven years. Citing lowered profit margins, Six Flags, Inc decided that it would be more profitable to sell the park's land as office and retail space, than to keep it open for further years. Once again, the removal of a Houston icon came down to the all-mighty dollar. At this point, it is impossible to save Astroworld, it has entered it's final days.

Get on down there and take the rickety old Texas Cyclone for a spin. Sit in the last car; it shakes and jumps the most.

Where are Houston's 'focal points?'

2005-10-25T12:09:00.000-05:00

Tory at Houston Strategies has a post about "focal points," meaning places you'd naturally go to find someone you're trying to meet:

You are meeting someone in New York on a given day, but don't know a time or place. Where would you go and when? The surprisingly common answer is "under the clock at Grand Central Station at noon." Interesting variants include the country (Washington Monument in DC?) or the world (the entrance to the United Nations in New York?). So, of course, this got me thinking about Houston. What's our focal point? And I think I'd like to propose two variants:
Where would two locals most likely meet?
Where would two people from out-of-town most likely meet?

Tory suggests the water wall at Williams Tower, or the Galleria. It's a thought-provoking discussion. So what's your focal point for the Bayou City?

Sensitivity, Metro-style

2005-10-25T11:57:00.000-05:00

I'm still shaking my head at this one.

WSJ: Hollywood awful on race, sex equality

2005-10-25T11:45:00.000-05:00

Well, look who's not practicing what they preach:

In a town full of dirty little secrets, the composition of writers in Hollywood rises to the level of scandal. Though Tinsel Town pays lip service to liberalism and equality, women and minority film and television writers get work and get paid with a disparity that is striking. The 2005 Hollywood Writers Report found that among film writers, women represented just 18% of employment while minorities combined stood at 6%. The median earnings gap between men and women, and minorities and white men in film work widened from $12,500 to $19,000 since the WGA's last report was released in 1998. In television, women accounted for 27% of writers and minorities represented just under 10%. And both are more likely to hold the lower-status title of "staff writer." About 10% of all shows in the 2004-05 season had no women writers on staff, unchanged from the WGA's comparative assessment of the 1999-2000 season. Pay for TV writing was an average of $12,000 more for men than women. Minority TV writers in 1998 earned on average $8,500 less than white men; this gap jumped to nearly $18,000 in the 2005 report.

Read the whole column; it's by Bridget Johnson, whose blog is called GOPVixen. Rawrrr!

[Hat-tip: Don, LST tipster extraordinaire]

Chron screws up Big XII football schedules

2005-10-25T11:23:00.000-05:00

What schedule is the Chronicle sports department looking at?

Oklahoma's Adrian Peterson's ailing right ankle is improving, and he should be ready to go this week against Iowa State.

Oklahoma plays Nebraska this week (and doesn't play Iowa State at all this season). Iowa State plays Texas A&M. Houston is the largest city in Big 12 territory, and its only major newspaper screwed up the schedules for a third of the conference. Nice work, Chron.

[Hat-tip: Ashley the Aggie]

British banks to ban piggy banks amid pressure

2005-10-24T23:38:00.000-05:00

Another dispatch from the brilliant Dhimmi Watch.* It seems some British banks are scrapping the piggy bank:

British banks are banning piggy banks because they may offend some Muslims. Halifax and NatWest banks have led the move to scrap the time-honoured symbol of saving from being given to children or used in their advertising, the Daily Express/Daily Star group reports here. Muslims do not eat pork, as Islamic culture deems the pig to be an impure animal. Salim Mulla, secretary of the Lancashire Council of Mosques, backed the bank move. "This is a sensitive issue and I think the banks are simply being courteous to their customers," he said.

This is freakin' ridiculous. First of all, I doubt any pious Muslim would walk into one of these banks and have a fit because he's given a piggy bank to take home to Junior. That's because Islam has strict laws against paying or collecting interest. This is like a steakhouse banning leather shoes to avoid offending PETA.

*Dhimmi is an Arabic term meaning "protected people." Under Islamic rule, Dhimmis are relegated to second-class citizenship. They're free to practice their religion and culture, but only in private. The Koran mandates that people conquered by Islam must "pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority and they are in a state of subjection." (Surah 9:29)

Update: Bombers wanted to kidnap journalists

2005-10-24T14:40:00.000-05:00

It looks like the terrorists who attacked the Palestine Hotel today didn't acheive all their objectives:

Iraq's National Security Adviser, Mowaffaq al-Rubaie, said the bombings were designed to show that insurgents were still active after what he called a string of successes by Iraqi security forces during a constitutional referendum and last week's start of Saddam's trial for crimes against humanity. "The plan was to try to penetrate the defenses of the Palestine hotel by blowing up cars and firing rocket-propelled grenades and light arms to occupy the hotel and kidnap the journalists," he said.

You'd think al-Qaeda would treat its supporters better than that.

"When the lights go on again..."

2005-10-24T13:38:00.000-05:00

Power's been restored, and Mattsapundit Central Command is back in business. Sweet.

Scientists achieve adult stem cell breakthrough

2005-10-24T12:25:00.000-05:00

In a development likely to offer hope to countless LST bloggers, scientists have successfully repaired human livers using adult stem cells:

Until now, the only hope for persons with irreversible liver failure from such diseases as cirrhosis, which kills about 27,000 Americans yearly, was transplantation. This requires permanent use of immunosuppressive drugs which can lead to opportunistic infections and cancer. Most importantly, it requires a new liver. About a thousand Americans are now on a waiting listfor one and many will die there. But scientists from London's Imperial College report in The New Scientist repaired patients' own damaged livers by using bone marrow adult stem cells collected from their own blood. Five were injected with a drug that stimulated their marrow to produce extra stem cells that were then injected into a blood vessel leading directly to the liver. It worked. Both liver function and overall health of three out of five treated patients improved significantly within only two months of treatment. The two patients whose health did not improve were left no worse off.

Meanwhile, embryonic stem cells offer the "promise of hope" for the embryo-massacring industry.

[Hat-tip: Byron Hood]

Terrorists attack journalists' HQ in Baghdad

2005-10-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

Publicity stunt, Qaeda-style:

At least two enormous bombs, including a cement-mixing truck packed with explosives, blew up near an Iraqi police checkpoint outside the Palestine Hotel — home to many foreign journalists in Iraq. Iraqi police said 11 people were killed and 13 wounded. A second bomb exploded inside a car not far from the checkpoint on the northeast side of Firdous Square and more than 100 yards east of the hotel grounds. Both were believed to be suicide attacks. It did not appear that anybody was killed inside the hotel. Three of the wounded were in the hotel but were not hurt seriously. Three others were at a U.S. military checkpoint at the northwest corner of the hotel compound.

Maybe this will piss off enough reporters that they'll issue some honest reports about global jihad. And maybe I'll be nominated to the Supreme Court.

London creates Olympic-sized traffic tickets

2005-10-24T11:13:00.000-05:00

You think we've got some radar-gun-happy cops eager to line the coffers of small towns in Texas? Check this out:

Automated cameras will begin snapping photographs and mailing tickets worth £5000 (US $8870) to any motorist that accidentally strays into new "Olympic" lanes to be set aside for the 2012 Olympics in London, UK. Department for Transport officials will take traffic lanes away from general use so that 55,000 people designated as special can use them. Their numbers will include athletes, the media, government officials, corporate sponsors and their guests.

"The last thing we are after is people's money -- we simply want to get everyone to their venues on time," a spokesman for the Department for Culture, Media and Sport told the London Times.

Yikes.

Saudi government to allow first cinema in decades

2005-10-24T10:35:00.000-05:00

Saudi Arabia is allowing movies to be shown. Sort of:

Some 20 years after public screenings of films were banned, the first cinema will open next month in ultraconservative Saudi Arabia, but showing only cartoons, a source from the firm handling the project said on Sunday. The cinema will open for women and children at a Riyadh hotel at the Eid Al Fitr feast at the end of the Muslim holy fasting month of Ramadan on November 2 or 3, said the source who requested anonymity.

I'm guessing the lineup will be heavy on Wile E. Coyote blowing stuff up, and light on Porky Pig.

Dammit.

2005-10-23T21:22:00.000-05:00

"Darker than a black steer's tookus..."

2005-10-23T21:07:00.000-05:00

Shitty CenterPoint just decided I and my neighbors don't really need electricity. It's cold and Game 2 is on. Awesome. I love the 19th century.

Texas bloggers unite, fight Instaheretic's BBQ slam

2005-10-21T15:14:00.000-05:00

Glenn Reynolds (of Instapundit fame) might be the 800-pound blogging gorilla on the block, but that doesn't mean Texans will cower from him. Quoth the pundit:

IT'S THE SMELL OF TEXAS HOME COOKIN' -- and I don't mean that beef stuff they pass off as barbecue.

That's it, Reynolds. This means war.

UPDATE: The lovely and talented Anne Linehan pledges to muster her forces, even going so far as to ~~lure~~ invite Reynolds in for a ~~devious trap~~ meal.

UPDATE 2: Laurence Simon joins the fight.

UPDATE 3: Josh Wills set up a blog to battle the Instadeception.